Hello, Vampricone!
Your short story is thrilling and kept me on the edge of my seat. Your descriptions strengthened the scenes nicely when they were implemented. The build-up of tension as Sally encountered the jack-in-the-box and the unexpected appearance of Laughing Jack created a sense of suspense that I quite enjoyed. The interaction between Sally and Laughing Jack was both eerie and intriguing, and I appreciated the way you played with the reader's expectations. As someone who knows the Laughing Jack character, I fully expected a dark and gory end. The lack of one is almost more disturbing in a way, as I'm expecting an off-screen murder. My imagination takes it and just makes it awful.
Overall, you've written a fantastic short story. It filled me with unease and I'm terrified for Sally's future. Great job! Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.
Happy Writing!
Wist
Points: 14518
Reviews: 109
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