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12+ Violence Mature Content

A Clown?!

by vampricone6783


*This is a Creepypasta fanfic with Laughing Jack and Sally Dawn. Laughing Jack was created by Snuffbomb and Sally was created by La Mishi Mishi. This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*



Sally was finally alone in her room. Well, except for Charlie, the other toys, and the-jack-in-the-box, of course.

What was in the-jack-in-the-box, anyway?

Sally turned the windup, curious to see what was inside.

She found herself singing to the melody:

“All around the mulberry bush

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey stopped to pull up his sock,

Pop goes the weasel!”

Nothing came out. Sally took the box in her hands, about to throw it, but then…

Then it shook.

She carefully placed the box on the ground and watched as it shook…shook…

Suddenly, the lid popped open, black smoke flying out, and…and…

A REALLY BIG BLACK AND WHITE CLOWN WITH A POINTY NOSE JUMPED OUT!

“Hello, Sally! I’m Laughing Jack, your super duper best friend forever! I like to sing, dance, play, and eat candy. What about you, little girl?” He asked, bending down to her level.

Sally couldn’t speak. He was so tall…so big…and he knew her name.

“Y-you’re not going to hurt me…are you?” She asked, just to be sure.

At this, he laughed. Long and loud. By the time Sally was going to cover her ears, he already stopped.

“Sally, I would never hurt you. I’m a clown, clowns aren’t evil. I’m just going to make you happy.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I promise.”

He took both of her hands and together, they danced.


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Mon Aug 12, 2024 7:46 am
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WeepingWisteria wrote a review...



Hello, Vampricone!

Your short story is thrilling and kept me on the edge of my seat. Your descriptions strengthened the scenes nicely when they were implemented. The build-up of tension as Sally encountered the jack-in-the-box and the unexpected appearance of Laughing Jack created a sense of suspense that I quite enjoyed. The interaction between Sally and Laughing Jack was both eerie and intriguing, and I appreciated the way you played with the reader's expectations. As someone who knows the Laughing Jack character, I fully expected a dark and gory end. The lack of one is almost more disturbing in a way, as I'm expecting an off-screen murder. My imagination takes it and just makes it awful.

Overall, you've written a fantastic short story. It filled me with unease and I'm terrified for Sally's future. Great job! Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.

Happy Writing!
Wist




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Mon Aug 12, 2024 3:54 am
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kaitlyn wrote a review...



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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

Well this is quite the wholesome little story but the undercurrents of horrors to come is really strong with this one. I think it might be because I know what happens, maybe this would be less suspicion arousing if I hadn't read any of the other stories of Laughing Jack but either way it makes for a fun read!

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

[quoteSally was finally alone in her room. Well, except for Charlie, the other toys, and the-jack-in-the-box, of course.

What was in the-jack-in-the-box, anyway?

Sally turned the windup, curious to see what was inside.

She found herself singing to the melody:[/quote]

Well seems like an innocent enough checking of the jack in the box there but knowing what that actually contains I have a feeling this isn't going to be ending so nicely.

“All around the mulberry bush

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey stopped to pull up his sock,

Pop goes the weasel!”

Nothing came out. Sally took the box in her hands, about to throw it, but then…

Then it shook.


Oooh well that seems like a cute enough song and a mildly disappointing ending given what normally happens in a jack in the box. I wonder if our friendly clown is maybe absent for the moment.

She carefully placed the box on the ground and watched as it shook…shook…

Suddenly, the lid popped open, black smoke flying out, and…and…

A REALLY BIG BLACK AND WHITE CLOWN WITH A POINTY NOSE JUMPED OUT!

“Hello, Sally! I’m Laughing Jack, your super duper best friend forever! I like to sing, dance, play, and eat candy. What about you, little girl?” He asked, bending down to her level.


Well this seems like quite the entrance there. Love to see it. Jack definitely starts out quite friendly there but you can sense that something is underfoot just a little bit at least from the size of him.

Sally couldn’t speak. He was so tall…so big…and he knew her name.

“Y-you’re not going to hurt me…are you?” She asked, just to be sure.

At this, he laughed. Long and loud. By the time Sally was going to cover her ears, he already stopped.

“Sally, I would never hurt you. I’m a clown, clowns aren’t evil. I’m just going to make you happy.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I promise.”

He took both of her hands and together, they danced.


Well looks like that's already got alarm bells ringing. Clowns not being dangerous is among the top ten lies I have heard today but it looks like Sally isn't quite old enough to understand it and for the moment its going to be all happiness and dancing until Jack goes on a rampage.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think you've done an amazing job here showcasing how Laughing Jack tends to appear at first and be this much more peaceful sounding force and how Sally is easily convinced he is only a jolly clown.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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