Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Laughing Jack meets Aeliana!

*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33 [2]”. Enjoy!*

Laughing Jack watched the little girl closely. She was standing off to the side, next to the shops. Her friends were all throwing baseballs at shop windows while she stood off to the side, kept quiet by rules. On a regular day, Laughing Jack would target her and her friends. Especially her friends, because misbehaving children were easier to lure away.

But his and Jason’s child would have to listen to their rules. If not, well…things wouldn’t be too good. A human soul was needed to power the doll puppet that Jason created and what better soul than a calm, quiet child!

Laughing Jack slunk out of the shadows of the toy shop and tapped the shoulder of the girl softly.

The girl turned around, her eyes wide with surprise. From out of his pocket, Laughing Jack produced a peppermint. Just the thing to get her all warmed up!

“It’s for me?” The little girl asked. Her voice was quivering, on the edge of crying.

Laughing Jack nodded.

“My parents don’t want me to take candy from strangers.” The little girl said, slightly recoiling away from him.

Laughing Jack knelt down to her level, for she needn’t fear. He would care for her, he would protect her. All she had to do was listen.

“Aw, don’t be frightened. I know that I sound and look like such a scare, but really, I’m the silliest clown there ever was! The name’s Laughing Jack because my name is Jack and I LAUGH A LOT! HA!” He beamed.

It was remarkable, really. How much her friends were focused on vandalizing, how they didn’t even think to turn around.

The girl fidgeted with a strand of her hair, putting it close to her mouth. Laughing Jack gently pulled the hair strand away from her face and said:

“Don’t eat your hair, you’ll choke. I know, I’m not exactly somebody you want to speak to, but I just want to be your friend. You see, I’m a lonely clown. I try to give candy to the children, but they always run away from me! I don’t mean any harm. Come on now, don’t you want candy? You seem like a very lonely child.”

The girl seemed to be thinking for a bit, then she tentatively took the peppermint from his outstretched claw. She then bit into the peppermint, a smile gradually forming on her face. From how her lips crinkled up, Laughing Jack guessed that she hadn’t smiled a day in her life.

“My name is Aeliana. You promise to be my friend?” She asked.

“Always. I’ll always be your friend.” Laughing Jack said.

Aeliana got a bright, sparkling look in her eyes and then she hugged him, her arms constricting around his body. Though he wished she hadn’t flung herself on him, he still hugged her back, for that was exactly what the child needed.

He would always be there for her.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review · Sat Nov 08, 2025 1:19 pm

Now after the first story, I had to see if there is another one with that creepypasta character and here I have found it :)

Especially her friends, because misbehaving children were easier to lure away.

Ahhh that is so creepy!
Also this:
He would care for her, he would protect her.

No, no you will turn her into a doll it seems! Ahhh!

You need to work on how to formate dialogue correctly :)
As a general rule, if you use a word like "said", "shouted" or "whispered" the dialogue and the dialogue tag are part of the same sentence. Therefore you need a comma to separate speech from "she said" instead of a fullstop. And you dont need to capitalise the next word.
Like so:
<<<“It’s for me?” the little girl asked.>>
Or here:
<<<“My parents don’t want me to take candy from strangers," the little girl said>>>

Just something to keep an eye on :)
If it's a word like "He beamed" or "He laughed" or "He smiled", then you don't need the comma. Then you can continue as you are doing it now :3

So, let's see if my attempts at quotes are working =D

Random avatar
Ravena
Review
Ravena wrote a review · Sat Aug 30, 2025 10:20 pm

Hello, My Friend!

Ooo, and we return from the side-story to the main arc, where Jack meets their first candidate for a child, for him and Jason. Aeliana seems so sad that you're almost happy to see Jack take care of her, yet knowing what these cryptids do to children, you also feel a bit worried for her...

*ahem* For recommendations, the only thing I noticed was here:

A human soul was needed to power the doll puppet that Jason created and what better soul than a calm, quiet child!


I personally think maybe a question mark after "What better than a calm, quiet child" would have been more fitting, but that's a tiny thing.

Onto the meat and potatoes, the highlights! Starting with...

A human soul was needed to power the doll puppet that Jason created and what better soul than a calm, quiet child!


Just the idea of a doll-puppet powered by a human child is SO creepy! Yet the perfect "child" for the likes of this couple, lol. Love it!

Laughing Jack knelt down to her level, for she needn’t fear. He would care for her, he would protect her. All she had to do was listen.


This is what I love about clown-type monsters, demons, cryptids—all forms of them. It's the deception—obviously they're not scary in and of themselves to most adults, but the idea of a killer clown going after your own kids is still terrifying! Luring them away like the Pied Piper, only to dig in their claws in...Ugh. LJ is like the perfect balance of something that could be creepy to adults by virtue of being so inhuman, but also *just* clown-ey enough to trick kids.

From how her lips crinkled up, Laughing Jack guessed that she hadn’t smiled a day in her life.


Man, the devil's in the details with these stories. Poor kid.

Though he wished she hadn’t flung herself on him, he still hugged her back, for that was exactly what the child needed.


Aw, this was a good way to show for that, as annoyed as he was with her flinging herself at him, or the obvious issue involving many childrens' deaths and this particular clown, he still has the potential to be a caring guardian. Maybe... lol!

Overall, another banger! Nicely done! :D


Thus concludes my review. To leave off, here are some inspiring quotes, courtesy of your resident Poe freak ~

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."



Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire