Hi! This is a very heart wrenching poem and I think it is well written from the perspective of a child. Although in some places I feel like the language doesn’t feel like it’s a child’s, I think the poem wouldn’t be the same if it was changed so maybe it’s better to leave it like that. I’m talking about the lines like “ Bloodied, skeletal husks of children” I don’t think a child thinks like that. But in most places, the use of imagery of school, parents, rollercoasters convey the emotions and troubles of a really young person very well.
My favourite part is,

“ Isn’t that how all stories end?

The monster gets slayed

The children get saved

Isn’t that how it’s supposed to end?”

It conveys a belief in happy endings that most people only have in their childhood. And yet it’s heart breaking for the reader at the same time because they see it through their own perspective.
Overall, I like the tone and mood of the poem and it’s well written.
Have a great day/night!
Byee!

Hi there! It’s Coffee pouring by to write a comforting review for a wonderfully sentimental piece!
First of all, I’m shocked this work has zero reviews, it’s honestly great!! I don’t have vast knowledge about Creepypasta or any other stuff like that but I understand the point of the story and the motives etc. Plus, even though I don’t know details and where it’s originated from this piece made me intrigued and made me question more about characters and if they do get their “happy ending” after all.
The beginning was great, great as in it really drew me in and made me want to read more and before I knew it the poem ended. I loved the constant reference on things we all know like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys as a main reference, it really made me as a reader with fresh eyes, aware of the situation and made me really understand how the children felt as I can relate them to something well know like The Lost Boys.
I mean…they’re called Lost Boys for a reason. Plus, although they had Peter in many versions, they were never happy, in fact they stayed as children-ferocious, nasty children. No family. Limited friends and their whole lives were spent with a manipulative Peter. Really depends on what version you agree with most and what view you have. Same with this short poem.
Honestly, I just love it so much I don’t know what to say anymore!! I love the ending it really makes me want to hug the children and tell them they’re ok and that they can live a normal childhood and they can meet their loved ones. But, it is followed by a quick and sinking feeling of dread knowing even if I could,
1.They would probably be controlled by the clown forever, against their willpower
2.Sometimes…happy endings aren’t always a reality. That’s the harsh, cold reality sometimes.
Although it seems hopeless, I really wanted to reach through and hug them tight and tell them “it's ok”. It’s small but totally effective.
Thank you for reading and have a good day/night!!

Have a cup of sweet, hot coffee while you’re at it? Treat yourself to a biscuit too, don’t be shy!