Hello there creeper! Trying to crunch in a review with the last ten minute of this review day!! Sorry if it isn't the best I can't reviewed in a loooongg time!!! Anyways, let's jump right in!!!!


I really enjoyed the vivid imagery you've used in this poem!!! You've made sure to show all of these emotions and the longing that Laughing Jack feels for a friend of his own. I also really like the way how you show his emotions throughout all of these without like losing track of the main storyline of this poem if that makes any sense.

When you say things like

"Laughing jack just wants a friend
A friend to fill the gaping maw in his chest once served as a force of pure life"

I feel like it really shows all of like the craving of a friend and like that he's missing that in his life and I think you did an amazing job portraying that emotion. So good job on that!!!

This also might sound weird but I feel like I also relate to laughing jack not because of like the murdering part of anything but like I feel like it just really shows how lonely he truly is and he doesn't know how to cope with that so he kills and I just think that's really unique how you like managed to incorporate that So yeah good job!!!!!


Again I'm so sorry this is not a good review but I just really tried and tried to crunch it in this so please forgive me you are a really A really good writer and I can't wait to read more From you!!!

Love,
Hop

Hi creeperfeverdreams, I'm here to review more of your works!

Once again, we're back with laughing Jack, and I'm already more familiar with the original media this time around. I love that you decided to write a poem this time instead of just another novel; it adds a lot of uniqueness and also shows your strength as a multidisciplinary writer. Your rhyme is pretty standard, but very good, through the first 4 lines, (seams/dreams, friend/pretend) but then starts to taper off, which is confusing. The italics is part of your style, and I like that it represents his thoughts, though it would be nice if like the previous works you had an outside versus inside thought duelling, like before. I like that you again show the human side of these monster, with s"ometimes he kills because he cares.... to make them his". It shows that in a weird way, the monster itself is very alone and thinks that it's trying to help people, which adds another layer of despair and pity. I like that you've written it to almost make the reader pity Jack, with "the screams, he thinks them laughter", because he wants to make them happy, not knowing that he's killing them, or thinking that killing them will make them. The end again proved this as he says "all he asks for is a friend". That really shows that all through this, Jack thinks he's justified.

Overall, this is a really good view into what the perspective of the monster might be like instead of the standard novel where it's usually the perspective of the victims. Good work, and keep writing.