A child’s dream becomes warped with the world’s evil

Hmmm this one next, hi again =D

I think part of the beauty of fic is giving the characters unexplored traits that we enjoy, especially when they don’t contradict canon :3

I find it peculiar though that he asks himself this question:

Was he meant to sin?

That feels surprisingly religious to me, especially for a child or teenager!

Oh and I relate so much to the question of why sleep just wont come, you’re trying so hard @.@

I find the idea that killing for the first time is what finally also kills his childhood, that this is how he feels his entry into being a teenager is.
I don’t think it comes across that he’s bullied, at least not in this poem. More than the world itself is too loud and that makes him snap. Maybe you could have found a way to be more explicit here?

I like the way you end on him imagining what his younger self would see when it thinks of the self that he is now!


Join the fight! Write more reviews!

Hello there, creeperfeverdreams!

I thought this poem presented such an interesting perspective on serial killers and how they come to be. We always envision them as adults, but we always forget that for them to become broken adults, they were first children who were broken. I did not know much about Jeff the Killer other than his face, which went viral when I was in school, so I did read up on his origin story to get more familiar and to better equip myself for this review. So, let’s get started!!

Ghouls with gruesome grins
Power at his fingertips
Nothing to worry about
He is the fear
He is the darkness

I found the imagery of the grinning ghouls quite apt as Jeff is always wearing a smile no matter how he feels. You make a clear point by stating that he is no longer just acquainted with the darkness and the fear, he has become it and nothing can stop nor defeat him.

Bullied for what he was
Feeling trapped in his own skin
Why can’t things be better?
Was he meant to sin?

I love how you presented this moral struggle going on inside Jeff as a child. He is bullied for just being who he is and he doesn’t feel like there’s a way out to the point that he is considering that he is just always meant to be evil. I think going more into detail about the nonstop bullying and mentioning the fire also would have been cool additions to this poem as I think it would communicate how desperate and hopeless his situation was.

He loves all the creepies and crawlies
All he wants is a true friend
Someone who gets his heart
Someone who won’t tear him apart
He tosses and turns each night
Hoping to rid himself of the frights
Eyes ringed with dark circles
Why can’t he just “Go to sleep”?
Why can’t he smile through it all?
Why must it strain to exist?

Showing how all Jeff wanted was a friend who accepted him and didn’t make fun of him was a nice touch. I like how you continue the moral struggle throughout the poem, which I think is something that isn’t really emphasized in his origin story (unless I am wrong). He is haunted by nightmares and genuinely tries to keep himself together, but he “strains”, like you said, and can’t keep it all in for much longer. I also noticed that you added his tagline “Go to sleep”, which I found very clever!

The people around him are getting awfully loud
The urge is just inches away
He’s scared to wield the weapon
But if it will silence them, then so be it
When the knife slices through their flesh
He walks the threshold of teenage hood
Not truly a boy, but not quite a man
He’s become something of a monster

Now, Jeff has lost all control over his murderous urges and is lost to the endless realms of insanity! My favorite part of this poem is the second half of this stanza, mainly because I liked how you used the knife as a way to transition into teenage hood. Jeff has lost all of his innocence and his inner child is now gone with that first slash.

That boy dreamed of being something more
But what would he think when he’d come face to face
With a grotesque figure who draws smiles in blood
Who lurks in the corners
Never truly known
Lost to time
Lost to his madness
What would he think when he’d see
That man would be him
And that man was none other than
“Jeff the Killer”

This last stanza really drives home the despair and hopelessness of Jeff the Killer. What he has become is something that his young self couldn’t even fathom. I love how you list the horrid things he does and truly solidify that this man is destroyed and unsalvageable; his reputation now stained with the blood of his victims. I think you could have driven the message even harder by mentioning that he kills his best friend Liu, which would truly show how deplorable he has become.


Anywaysss, that’s what I have for today. I hope I didn’t sound too ignorant reviewing this poem. Have a good day/night!