@lovelydove @Wolfi you might want to see this!

Janice loves Halloween!!! (And she’s aggressive about it)
Janice came up with a love poem for Valentine’s Day!
Janice gives her poem to Corbin!
“We are ALMOST there!”
Belief in what is truly creepy
It appears that the parents have arrived
When you have Creepypastas for parents
Janice literally almost gets kidnapped!

That fine fall morning! (Part one)
That fine fall morning! (Part Two)
That fine fall morning! (Part three)
That fine fall morning (part four) (last part!)

Strangeface Lovelace, your nails are so long and pretty!

After Valentine’s Day (part one)
After Valentine’s Day (part two)
After Valentine’s Day (part three) (last part)

Hia, it’s me again. XD
Do you know that 35% of all my reviews here have been for your works! And then they are still kinda underrepresented, given the composition of the Green Room!

In any case, the poem! I would like to know more about Janice (didn’t mention her for nothing on your wall xd)

I do like the explanation on why she kinda appears the size of the other kids around her (she’s hunching)

“She never says anything that makes sense“ Ah that is so much more forgivable (and therefore safe) for children.

Ohh I like how you weave the description of her into the rhythm of the poem. I especially like how you mention her familiarity and where ppl could have seen her before (As a creepypasta, they might have, after all!)

I especially like the last two lines. Another nice poem 😊



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Alright, so I'm the first to admit I know not a whole lot about creepypasta (aside from Ben Drowned, which gave me nightmares), but I figured I could give reviewing this a try anyways.

Obviously this is in free verse (doesn't rhyme, and has no set cadence as far as I can tell). The beginning feels a bit like a witness statement - someone recording their memories of Janice. It reminds me a bit of how these SCP Foundation texts you can find on the net, which I figure is intentional?

The rhythm comes almost entirely from repetition (Janice is a teenage girl.../Janice is tall... and a lot of "her" in the beginning of the verses). You get a specific rhythm with these: Statement (Janice is a teenage girl), then an observation (Large, unblinking blue eyes) and finally there's the questions, which are left unanswered.

Overall, the poem can be divided into three parts: Normal observation, where you describe what people can see about Janice, then comes a feeling of social unease with the lyrical I asking questions (where did she come from and so on), and finally, the body horror reveal with her spinal cone nose, the pointed claws hidden in her gloves (the best verse to emphasise this has to be "She looks so familiar, yet so uniquely obscene", which does a Great job of slipping the reader into the uncanny valley).

The only thing that feels off to me is the two verses Have we, perhaps,/ Have seen her before in a screen?
I find the "in" weird, but that could be because it implies we haven't seen Janice on television, but that she somehow lives inside the internet, or some kind of screen or another. And the repition of "have we" breaks up the rhythm - I feel just leaving the second one out might make it easier to read, at least for me.

Overall, a very interesting poem, or song, as you stated. I like that it doesn't link Janice directly to her very famous parents, but lets her stand as a horror by herself, and that it creates horror through the idea that we all might just know someone like her.
It's not exactly what I usually like to read in poetry, but it is well-written and I enjoyed going over it with a fine-toothed comb, so there's that