Published April 1, 2025 ·
*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33 [2]”. Laughing Jack is a Creepypasta created by Snuffbomb. In the Creepypasta fandom, proxies are humans who serve higher Creepypastas. Slenderman is the only known Creepypasta to have a proxy pledge (you can Google it if you want). I figured that since Laughing Jack is a fairly powerful Creepypasta, he’d have a proxy pledge. So, I created this proxy pledge! I hope that you enjoy this! ^v^*
They say “that’s the way the money goes”
When the merry-go-round goes around and around
I used to cry and pout in the circus of life
I had no spark, no light
But now I laugh as I break a life
Dancing in a confetti of blood
My final act is to kill
The crowd goes wild
They’re not prepared
I had a little heart
They broke it apart
Its desires were never true
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
I referenced carnival stuff and the song “Pop goes the weasel” because “Pop goes the weasel” is Laughing Jack’s song and Laughing Jack is a clown so…yeah.
Hi creepy, im back for another (and maybe one more since these are so short and sweet.....we'll, at least short)
Consider changing "about" to around. Since you've got repetition of thought and word going on anyway, why not drive it home as much as possible?
I really like this line. It gives deep insight into the psyche of Laughing Jack, and it also shows how and perhaps why he does what he does when it relates to the circus being involved.
"Strive" seemed like an odd choice to me. Drive would fit, I think, or maybe even no light.
I liked this poem. I think the rhyming and pace is fun. It almost speeds up as he goes deeper into the darkness. I've enjoyed a lot of your poetry and this piece is no exception
~Messy
^v^
Glad you enjoyed!
hello!
Alright,
So I only know a little bit about laughing jack, so I may be missing somethings or be completely wrong, but i googled what a proxy pledge was, and it really seems like this isn't pledging much. Its more a statement. There are no 'I swear' or 'I promise' statements. It feels more like something Jack himself is saying, not something someone would be saying that would bind them to Jack. I'm not sure how to change these lines into more of a promise-styled speech, and they aren't bad on their own, they just don't feel like much of a pledge. If I read this without context, I wouldn't know it was an oath.
I do like the symbolism and it works by itself, but if you were to write another proxy pledge, i would suggest using more subserviently and oath-y language.
This is a bit harsher than my normal reviews, but I do think this is a very interesting concept.
Ah, makes sense. I understand how this doesn%u2019t exactly sound like an oath, but I wanted to make something that was a bit more poetic, where the person reciting would recite as though they were LJ and they%u2019re saying that they are now going to be evil like him.
I was not a huge fan of how the Slenderman pledge was written and wanted to do my own that had a different feel to it, but perhaps I should think about revising.
I made one proxy pledge with Jeff the killer. I can show you that if you want, but it%u2019s written in a poem sense like this one.
Ah okay I get it, maybe then just add a few lines in the beginning and end to make it more clear thats what you were going for maybe something like 'like you did' or 'and i shall follow your path' or smth idk. Sure send me Jeff's
Okay, thanks.
Here%u2019s Jeff%u2019s:
Jeff’s proxy pledge