*This is a fanfic of the Creepypasta “Jeff the Killer” created by GameFuelTV. It’s my version of his origin. All the characters are from the original story except for Ash. Ash is my OC. This fanfic is under my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1080. Enjoy!*
The hours of school had melded together in a time slop of which Jeff spent most of his time drawing pictures in his notebook.
At the moment, he was in the lunchroom, adding more skeletal-like trees to his drawing of a graveyard, smiling a little to himself at how he shaded the different areas. There was a certain comfort in the dark cemetery drawing, like he could hide amongst the graves and only be watched by contemplative crows and glowing ghosts, where the dead leaves scattered on the ground with the wind, and the dusky-white clouds in the sky provided a dim glow of sunlight that was like a lilting song of the siren, like the cool wind of Fall.
It reminded Jeff of watching Halloween and monster movies in his room, with no one around to bother him and in that instance, he wished that he was home. He wished that he could go home, straight to his room, and slip the DVD into the TV compartment, while drawing in his notebook, no one else to-
“You should sit with us!” A far-too excited voice chirped, a sharp-nailed hand griping his shoulder so tightly Jeff could have sworn that he felt blood being drawn.
Jeff didn’t even need to turn around to know that Ash was right behind him, digging her nails into his shoulder, but still, he turned around just so he could snap with:
“I don’t need to sit with anyone!”
Ash didn’t seem fazed, though and instead started lightly punching Jeff on his back, telling him that he should sit with them, that he should join them, that-he kept slapping her hands away, but she just wouldn’t stop. She kept doing it to the point that he got up and actually followed her to where she wanted him to sit, hoping that she’d shut up and stop bothering him, that it would be worth it to sit with them, that-
“Liu?!”
Yes, sitting amongst Keith, and two other boys who were also dressed like movie nerds but somehow in a mainstream model manner, one with ginger hair and one with blond hair, was Jeff’s younger twin brother, Liu.
Liu’s green eyes went wide when he saw Jeff, as if he were surprised about Jeff’s presence.
“These people are your friends?” Jeff asked, trying to speak in his calmest voice possible. His attempt at being polite did not seem to work, because some of them bristled while the ginger-haired boy glared at him, but Ash pushed Jeff over to the table, then slid next to him.
“I just found Jeff in my class, sitting all by himself, so of course I had to be his friend! I couldn’t just leave him there to sit all by himself, that would be rude and-“
“You just want to make him your boyfriend. Everybody knows that, Ash.” Keith said pointedly.
To which Ash rolled her eyes and argued otherwise, but Jeff wasn’t paying too much attention to her and Keith. It was the same argument from a few hours before but with different words. More than that, he wished he could just fade into nothingness like a ghost, so he wouldn’t have to sit with his brother and his brother’s friends and be squished in the lunch booth with Ash next to him and the brown-haired boy sitting at the end, Ash’s vanilla perfume assaulting his senses with such violent sweetness and-
“Jeff, the brown-haired guy is Keith, that blond guy is Troy, and the ginger-haired guy is Randy. Everyone, this is my older brother, Jeff.” Liu said, a smile on his face, his voice rising in a light and carefree manner.
Jeff blinked. Why on Earth was Liu introducing him to the others? Why was he talking like that, too? Why did he have to talk in such a manufactured way? Was that how regular people were supposed to talk? Was Jeff talking in the wrong way? Why were they all looking at him? Did he have to introduce himself again?
“Aren’t you going to say something? Or are you cursed to stay silent?” Randy asked with a simultaneously mocking and yet gentle smile, his voice softer than Jeff would have imagined, like how a ghost woman in a lace dress would speak, but still, there was a knife-tipped edge of annoyance to it.
He smiled just like how Jeff would imagine a creature of the shadows would smile at someone to make them feel safe, right before it would snatch them away.
But he didn’t know Randy and he wouldn’t assume.
“Yes, I’m cursed. Cursed to spend my time with you losers.” Jeff spat out. He was not in the mood for pleasantries and he certainly hoped that they wouldn’t pry him.
Ash blinked as though she were a little uncomfortable, Troy and Keith looked like they were holding in a laugh, Liu looked annoyed, but Randy…he was still smiling, as though Jeff hadn’t said anything at all.
“We’re not losers, Jeff. I love watching horror movies, just like how I imagine you like doing too. It’s nice to see someone that looks like they could be a Halloween character in this school.” Randy said, his eyes glittering.
But Jeff couldn’t tell whether or not Randy was being genuine, because why would he say something like that? Troy and Keith didn’t look like they were about to laugh anymore, but why did they look like they were going to laugh in the first place? What was so funny? Was it the way that Jeff said something? Or was it something deeper? Did it even matter at all?
“What is that supposed to mean?!” Jeff asked, feeling cornered, just like he did in class, when everyone had their eyes on him, when everyone was expecting an answer out of him.
“It means that I think you’re pretty cool and I’d like for you to be my friend.” Randy said, sliding a piece of paper over to Jeff.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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@Ravena @lovelydove I made this! :> The plot thickens!
Oh and these fanfics connect to this!
Jeff Woods gets ready for spooky season!
Jeff excitedly tells Liu about the glories of Halloween, Liu disagrees
Jeff gets ready for Halloween…as an adult.
First day of eighth grade!1!1!1!
The walk to school!
Eww…people! [Part One]
Eww…people! [Part Two]
OOOH! Im going to check these out!
yayyy!
Hai :3
Ooooh, we meet again!!
First of all, I really like how claustrophobic this feels!! Jeff’s inner world is so vivid and gloomy, but in a comforting way?? The graveyard drawing, the crows, the ghosts, the fall wind, the Halloween DVDs, etc. it all makes his loneliness feel like something he has decorated for himself, like a little haunted shelter. That is such a neat way to show character without just saying “Jeff is isolated.” I don't know much about his lore, but I'm glad I got to read this little window into his mind!!
I also love the lunchroom tension!! Ash is so aggressively friendly that it becomes uncomfortable, and you do a good job making Jeff feel physically trapped by the little details: her perfume, her nails, the booth, the attention, everything. It makes the social scene feel almost horror-like even though nothing “scary” is technically happening yet. That's very realistic for teenhood!!
Ouch!!
Wait, who is Keith? Maybe I'm just missing earlier context!! I like this sentence though because it reveals a lot about who Ash is, but I'm not sure who Keith is ~~ I know he must be in the group with the others, at least? I wish the story focused more on Ash's internal state or perception as well, especially as she is quite talkative/outgoing in a way that complements her involvement with people like Jeff!!
Randy is the most interesting character to me though!! His softness mixed with that knife-edge smile is really compelling. I love that Jeff can’t tell if he is being mocked or genuinely invited in, because that uncertainty says a lot about Jeff’s mindset. He wants connection, but every gesture feels like a threat first. I’m especially into how sensory Jeff’s narration is, too!! Everything ordinary becomes too much: people talking, people staring, people touching him, people laughing. It really sells how cornered he feels without needing to outright say he is uncomfortable.
^^^ I like that he keeps asking himself questions because it shows paranoia and social discomfort, but the pattern repeats a lot: Why are they looking? What does this mean? Are they laughing? Is it deeper? Used once or twice, it’s effective. Used too often in one excerpt, it risks making his panic feel circular instead of escalating... Try making each question reveal something new about him!!
Aww, such a cute way to end this!!
I do really like how this subverts the expectations surrounding Jeff, but maybe you could write a more specific line, like him commenting on the graveyard drawing or horror movies in a way that proves he actually noticed Jeff? That could make the moment feel more believable and less convenient!! Has he seen Jeff around before, or is it something spontaneous? They're connected through his brother; explore that a little more, possibly!!
Overall though, this is such a strong little story!! It captures awkwardness, paranoia, and loneliness in a way that feels very emotionally specific. I’m curious about Randy already, which is always a good sign, hehe!! Great work!! ^_^
- Payton
Thx for reading and reviewing! Keith is Ash%u2019s brother. ^v^
Still lost but I’ll bear the confusion: For Violet Victory!
I know this sentence is super long and should probably be shortened but I just rly like the descriptions in this one. Very well done!Ah okay different Jeff verse. Gotcha.
Oha. I rly did not expect him to go along with Ash. I kinda expected him to start plotting her murder… Maybe that is for later. Or maybe Ash will lead this version of Jeff into a different life. A life without murder… A girl can dream…
Ok this is a really non-descript description. I have no idea what to envision: “who were also dressed like movie nerds but somehow in a mainstream model manner,”
This is so relatable: “Was that how regular people were supposed to talk? Was Jeff talking in the wrong way?“
Remember the dialogue formatting ☹
I like how there is a hint that Randy might be more than he seems.