Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This fanfic song/poem is under my folder titled âCreepypasta stuffâ. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled âMy character designs<33[2]â. This is based off the Creepypasta character âJeff the Killerâ, created by GameFuelTV. Enjoy and Happy Halloween season!*
Itâs never the good thing
Itâs still not the right thing
But theyâre not gonna listen unless you do it
Thatâs what you say, isnât it?
Carve up their frail flesh and lick the blood off the knife
Itâs so exciting to live your life
No friends, no family
Nowhere to call your own
Not really like you had much of a home
A smile makes them like you, but not even a grin got them to give in
Blistered, burned, bleached
Hardly alive
Not quite dead
Youâll slash apart their heads
Creep towards their beds
But being the monster wonât get rid of your dread
Itâs so pretty to watch the blood fall like raindrops
Your heart hurts a little less
Oh, my mistake
You donât have one
And if it is, itâs a dried up husk
Just like the scars on your face
The skin on your bones
The last, dying, barely there light of hope in your soul
You donât care about anyone, yet you wonder why youâre so alone
You think being
âThe evil oneâ
âThe edgy oneâ
âThe tragic, fucked-up hot oneâ
Will save you from your nightmares
But violence isnât good
Itâs not even righteous
And as long as you sentence people to sleep
Youâll never know a night of peace
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasnât long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail â the author will appreciate it, and youâll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
And another poem to round this out đ
I especially like this sequence here
This one one the other hand I feel is a bit too weak for the rhyme: âYouâll slash apart their headsâ
Oh and that part is sad: âYou donât care about anyone, yet you wonder why youâre so aloneâ
I find it very interesting that this poem implies that Jeff isnât as happy as you present him in your other stories. Maybe this captures the vibe of a Jeff that isnât happily married with a daughter?
Well, yes. You are right about the meaning of this poem. And Jeff loves his husband and daughter but there is always going to be this sadness he%u2019ll feel. He%u2019ll die before he shows any vulnerability though.
Thx for reading!
Hi! I noticed this come up, and thought I may as well drop a quick review. I really like seeing you try your hand at this creepy poetry, and itâs really good. You pretty much managed to nail all the twisted parts of Jeffâs personality, and I love the way you describe him, because it feels so accurate. Heâs alive, human, but also not exactly. Heâs definitely a drifter, and has little if any pattern to his killings, unlike other Creepypasta killers. The pattern of smiles and telling them to âgo to sleepâ, of course, a classic for any Jeff content. Finally, the end there, I thought was really cool, and how you show that being âdifferentâ or trying to get on his level wonât save you. I donât know a Creepypasta where that does work, actually, but itâs definitely not with Jeff, haha.
I donât know the intricacies of poetry too good in the first place, so Iâm not sure what to recommend for improvement here. I had an itch to recommend taking out the F-bomb toward the end, just to make it a little more friendly to younger audiences, but then just as fast, I remember that if someone is reading creepypasta content, bad language is probably among the least things theyâre phased by, haha. I did feel just a little confused by the tone of the ending, because âviolence isnât good or righteousâ, while a sentiment I agree with, doesnât sound like something Jeff would say to me. However, thatâs the point of fanfiction, right? To show another, more original side of a character, so it works.
Iâd give this a 10/10, in part because of my Jeff bias, and in part because itâs just a great poem for the season. Nice job, and Happy Halloween season.
Oooh it%u2019s not supposed to be Jeff speaking. This is directed towards Jeff. It sort of goes over my sympathy for him but also how he is so crazy that he probably doesn%u2019t even know how to help himself anymore.
But I am glad you enjoyed this!
Ohhh, that makes sense! Sorry I missed that. Cool!
Yw and that%u2019s alr!!