Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The clown’s fate

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

*This fanfic song/poem is under my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1065. This is the backstory of a Creepypasta character called “Laughing Jack” who was created by Snuffbomb, Isaac is a character in LJ’s story. Enjoy and Happy New Fear!*

Once there lived a Jack-in-the-box clown

Who wore stripes with the colors of the rainbow

And laughed and laughed and laughed

He lived to put a smile on a poor little boy’s face

For he and the boy were destined to be friends

The two of them played all throughout the days

Not a worry or woe between them

Till a game of pirates outside went far too out of turn

And a stray cat died in the clown’s grip

The little boy got blamed for the crime

The boy was sent far, far away

To a place where he’d learn to obey

The clown was sent back to his wooden box

Waiting and waiting for the boy to return

When the boy did, he’d be free to play again

Days had passed, silence was in the air

Months went on, the clown kept singing his song

Thirteen years went by, the clown felt like he’d die

Only after those thirteen years did the boy return

But his parents were dead, the boy had grown up

No longer did his eyes shine

The boy, now a man, remembered the clown not

So that poor clown, all color lost, all hope drained away

Watched with bitterness as the man went about his day

The man started off drinking the sweet taste of alcohol

He cursed and he sneered

A grotesque abomination

A new adaptation

Of the man his father was

The drinks gave way to lust

He brought home a woman

To his room they went

Yet they were not alone

Deep in the box, the clown watched

And he asked:

“Isn’t he supposed to be MY friend?”

He knew the man wouldn’t notice him

Yet he hoped the man would stay loyal

Watching that man with the woman

Boy, did it make his blood boil

But the woman wouldn’t give the man what he wanted

So the man’s curled into a snarl

She tried to run, she couldn’t make it far

The man had caught her and slashed her apart

From that day on, the man filled his time with murder

The clown watched it all, something inside of him began to spark

A dormant thing, a nearly forgotten thing

One dark night, the box fell off its shelf

The man walked up to it, thinking:

“What harm could it be?

It must have been an old present left for me.

All of it’s for the memories.”

He turned up the crank, it didn’t budge

He threw it aside, it’s an old dud

But deep inside, that box still had a surprise

For out the clown came, calling the man’s name!

The man turned around, but it was all too late

That gruesome, black and white striped clown

Came to give that man his coming fate

The clown pulled him close and ripped him apart!

He laughed as he pulled out his guts!

Just like old times!

The man screamed and cursed!

So unlike the boy he used to know!

But that was alright!

He’d give the man quite a show!

When the man’s breaths stopped and the clown had blotches of red

He vowed to come after children, to bring them dread

For if there was one thing the clown learned

It was that children grew to be heartless

And only an awful, unfeeling, thorny heart

Could make through it all

That clown was bound to be whatever the boy became

Now the boy’s dead

So there’s no one to make the clown good

Isaac Grossman was a murderer

That’s all he’d ever be

Laughing Jack’s a killer too

Comments & reviews · 2
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Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review · Sun Feb 15, 2026 8:30 pm

Gonna see if I can grant a few other things a second review…

I like that the poem tells a story. I don’t know enough abt poetry to truly comment on the rhyming scheme and all but this feels serviceable ^^

And woah, they do be killing a poor innocent cat. But… idk if sending a kid away for that is an acceptable punishment.

I like that creepypastas also seem to run on fae logic, hung up on smthing that happened 13 yrs ago bc for them the time does not matter at all.

…well if the pirate games involved spilling the guts of the cats I understand why they sent the boy away to get help…

This is a good insight into LJ’s origin!





Image

Hiiiii!

So, reading through this, I have a few things to say that might help.

I know previously, I might have reviewed a song by you, but I'm here again to help.

You told a story, and while it was a good story, you got to the point. Which is nice when it comes to songs. Being able to read the lyrics and following along is helpful, however, there are somethings you can do.

Think of a song like a poem. Most songs start off as poems with no music, or as music with no poem. So, when you write lyrics out, try and format it like that. A poem.

If you do it like that, it helps to make things rhyme a little better, and it stitches everything up nicely. It helps to keep the reader with it too, and to feel the beat of your song.

The other thing is how you have it formatted. While it could just be the YWS format, I would suggest trying to label your verses, chorus's, pre-chorus's, and bridge. This helps to push the story along and helps your reader/reviewer to understand where you're intending things to lay.

As a musician, I find that doing that also helps me with the writing process of a song. Most songs are only so long at certain parts, which can help you limit your length and tell the story in a better way.

That's all I have to offer as of right now! This is a wonderful piece! Good job!

Your breadthren,
~ Taost <3



Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?
— Mary Oliver