
*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. This character is a fanchild I made of the Creepypastas Laughing Jack (created by Snuffbomb) and Jason the Toymaker (created by Krisantyl). Gacha Club character designs are under my forum “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
4/18/1955
Hello,
Today, after school, when my parents were out, one of the ghosts told me her name. She said that she was Aeliana and that she wanted to be my friend. I asked what she wanted to do and then she appeared in front of me and said she wanted to play.
Aeliana is a girl around my age who has blond hair and wears a blueish-purple dress and matching hat. She’s covered in blood, which I think is scary, but she’s not mean to me. That’s good, I guess.
We played with dolls at my house and then we ran down the hallways. There’s a lot of hallways in my house, so plenty of room for us to run. Aeliana told me that I was pretty and I said thank you. It’s nice that she said that, because I already know it, but it’s still nice to hear.
I asked her why she was bleeding, but then she looked all scared and said that if she told me, I wouldn’t believe her. I told her that I would believe her, but she still didn’t want to tell me, so I just played with her and I didn’t bring it up again.
When my parents came back home, Aeliana disappeared. I hope that she’ll come back. I like her. She’s nice.
I hope that I didn’t say anything wrong.
Goodbye,
Raisa Accardi
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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This connects to this!:
Raisa’s diary entry (4/17/1955)
Hello, My Friend!
Hi Vamp! In the October spirit, I thought I'd jump back into some of your stories, starting with this great piece! Let's dive right in...
To start, I love that you gave us another diary entry from Raisa, especially knowing what untimely fate awaits her now! And so here is where she meets Aeliana, and it's so bittersweet how they immediately connect as friends, and despite knowing that Raisa is only alive because of Aeliana, you can still see that they're different—they're still separate entities and personalities.
*ahem* As for a more technical review, I have nothing! Great work!
My favorite parts have to be...
I love how Raisa is not completely desensitized to blood and gore, in spite of her parents' "career," lol. It makes sense and reminds you that, cryptid or not, she's still just a kid!
I wondered about this! Is Aeliana just trying to make the most of her situation and be friends with Raisa, or is she solely trying to gain her trust, for her ultimate goal? I also like the injection of Raisa's sassy personality with that, "I know, but it's nice to hear anyway" XD
Overall, that was awesome! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
So glad you enjoyed this! They are friends now, but this is only the beginning.
i love Raisa's confidence lol, she knows she's pretty and she doesn't seem to fear Aeliana at all, once she gets over the blood, even missing her company when she leaves. i also like the note of horror the child-like innocence adds, knowing somethings off, but seeing it through the eyes of a character who doesn't. i have to admit, this is the first of Raisa's diary entries I've read, but already i feel like i can get a good sense of her character.
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this! ^v^