*This is a Creepypasta fanfic with the ship Ben Drowned x Lost Silver. This takes place in the year 2005 and in this AU, they are both 15 years old and they go to the same school. This is before they die and become Creepypastas. I’ll post more with these characters later on, just not right now. Ben Drowned was created by Jadusable and Lost Silver’s story was posted on 4chan anonymously in 2010, so it’s unknown who created Lost Silver. This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are underneath my forum titled “My character designs<33”. The boy named “Kyle” in this story is Lost Silver before he becomes Lost Silver. I just wanted to let you know! Also, the show “Sailor Moon” is mentioned in this. For those who don’t know, it’s an anime show from the 90’s which was totally NOT created by me! Now, without further ado…enjoy!*
Ben watched as all of the other kids walked past him with boxes of chocolates and bouquets of flowers, their eyes glittering with the giddiness of those who had Valentines. He didn’t hate that other kids were happy on Valentine’s Day, but he still didn’t feel any less lonely. Why did everyone else get to find love but him? When would he find someone? Would he ever find someone?
Ben shook away the negative thoughts. He could just celebrate Valentine’s Day with Kyle.
Kyle would play video games in Ben’s basement with him all day and then, if Kyle wanted to sit on the carpeted floor, Ben would be able to twirl his curly black hair, his hair that was so unbelievably soft, like a pillow. Seriously, how did he get his hair to be so soft like that? They’d play video games that sparkled with the kind of hazy iridescence that only dreams had, the kind of hopeful shine that appeared in the show Sailor Moon, but the video games were never as glittering as Kyle’s cocoa brown eyes, the brown eyes that Kyle said he hated, the brown eyes he said that looked too much like mud, but had a golden quality to it, like smooth, sweet maple syrup, that Ben was sometimes lucky enough to catch under the dancing rays of sunlight. The glow of the TV screen would make the small, red pimples around Kyle’s face look as though they were blooming roses growing on a pile of pearls, the pimples that Kyle couldn’t help but pick at for hours and hours, then lament to Ben about how disgusting he looked, how his parents always berated him for picking the pimples, how he wanted to stop, yet couldn’t help it, then Ben would say:
Don’t worry about it. You’re not disgusting. You look fine.
It was always a good time with Kyle. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, his cocoa-brown eyes would light up and he’d smile sweetly with his crooked white teeth, teeth that he was afraid to show, a smile he was afraid to let shine, again, because of the words of his parents.
Kyle’s parents always said cruel things to him so that they’d make themselves feel better, but that wouldn’t matter when school ended and they went to Ben’s house. At Ben’s house, nothing else mattered but them and the video games.
Ben opened his locker, for he couldn’t just stand around and anticipate what was to happen later, he had to wait and-
Was that a pink see-through bag of chocolates in his locker shelf? What was that rectangular piece of paper taped to the bag?
Ben reached for the bag and turned it around in his hands to where the rectangular piece of paper was taped to, the paper that wasn’t just any paper, but a Pokémon trading card.
It was a trading card with the Pokémon Meloetta on it, its green hair flowing like tree branches around its pale face, its mouth open in a song, and attached to the card was a post-it with the scrawled-on words:
“This Pokémon has flowing Princess hair like a magical girl and when it sings, it can control the emotions of those who hear its melody. You’re more ethereal than a million of these.”
Ben sighed and put the card close to his heart. There was only one person he knew in his life to be insanely obsessed with Pokémon, but maybe it just happened to be somebody else? But then, that person would have to know him to write something like that, to tell him that he was as melodic as a siren-like Pokémon, that he essentially made them feel emotions that were as colorful and sparkling as fireworks, and the one person he could think of was…
Kyle Brown.
Nobody signed it, but who else could it be? He only knew one person who had a plethora of Pokémon cards, one person who made Pokémon their entire personality. Kyle could have given it to him as a “friend gift”, but wouldn’t he have signed it if it was just a friend gift? And he wouldn’t call him “ethereal” if it was just a friend gift, right? Also, he didn’t give away any of his Pokémon cards easily. To him, it was like giving away a piece of bone.
Ben put the bag of chocolates and card in the front pocket of his backpack, the one place where they wouldn’t get completely smashed and destroyed. His heart was racing in his chest, his thoughts were screaming in his head, his skin was starting to get all flushed, but he’d calm down. If it was somebody else or if Kyle was just trying to be friendly, then he’d still like the gift. He’d be fine. He would be grateful.
But the mere thought that Kyle took the time to give it to him…that he cared that much for Ben…why, it seemed too much of a candy-filled dream to let go of.
He’d ask later. At his house. Things would be clear then.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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this is so gay hehehehe
very much so
Hello Again, My Friend!
AAAAH, this was too cute!! A classic Valentine's Day in high school, notoriously cheesy setup on the surface, but with these two, it was so much better. The romance and complex emotions from Ben—and even Kyle despite not being in this piece—were written so well! You concocted the perfect Valentine's gift for Kyle to give, and by extension, I also love the continued hints to their Creepypasta origins with the videogame themes. So well done!
As far as a technical review, I have nothing to recommend!
Now on to the fun stuff, reactions and favorite moments! Starting with...
OMG, this was gold!! That first line...Nice!!
Aw, poor Kyle, no wonder he's so self-conscious
AAAA, my little nerdy heart!! Not only do you get the feeling that it took an arm and a leg for Kyle to give up a Pokémon card, but that message? Perfect. Love it. Brilliant.
Overall, that was adorable! Very well done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
So glad you enjoyed!
Heya vampricone! It might not be autumn yet, but hey - here comes the crow, ready to leave a review anyways!
Step One: First impressions
In fanfiction, authors often expect people to just get to know the characters and that's it, but I don't think that's the case here! I like how you gradually and skillfully introduce the details we need to know about the characters in order to care about them. We have Ben, who is trying a little too hard to convince himself that Kyle must have written him that (very clearly romantic) letter as a friend. I don't think so, buddy. And also Kyle, who we only saw through Ben's eyes in this chapter, but I would definitely like to know more about him! It seems like he has a pretty bad relationship with his parents, but a great friend who he cares about. So I think you managed to nail down who's who in one chapter for fanfiction. Good job with that, cute romantic story can't work without reader carrying for characters and you managed it well!
I love the idea of Ben's basement as a little haven for both boys, where the world becomes just a little less real. You also beautifully described the setting of a school full of kids enjoying Valentine's Day in relatively small details from the perspective of someone who really wants a Valentine's gift. I like that although you focus more on Ben's feelings for Kyle and how their whole situation slowly develops, you didn't forget about the setting either, which is great!
Have a nice rest of day/night/whatever and stay safe!
- your local (friendly?) crow
Glad you enjoyed this! I wrote this story in Kyle%u2019s perspective too! Want me to link it to you?
Oh, definitely!
It’s not so lonely after all
I made another fanfic with Ben and Kyle!!!
Ben meets someone <333
I made this fanfic too!
Kyle is thinking…thinking about what?
Yet another fanfic of them!:
Back to school…Kyle?
I made this:
A familiar face
Shared moments in the basement
Greyhound here for another review.
Before we get started, I’m really glad I found this one. This connects to the other part I reviewed earlier, and it ties together beautifully. Seeing the story from both perspectives adds an extra layer of depth, making everything feel more complete.
Using the S’mores Method:
Top Graham Cracker
Two friends who have feelings for each other—Kyle, who is weighed down by the negativity from his parents, and Ben, who lifts him up and gives him a sense of worth. The way Ben thinks about Kyle, cherishing the small details like his hair, his eyes, and even his imperfections, really makes the emotions feel real and personal. It’s that kind of quiet admiration that makes a love story feel genuine. I also love the idea of their own little sanctum—Ben’s basement, a space where the outside world and its problems don’t exist. A place that belongs to just them.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow
Honestly, I don’t have anything to critique here. The writing flows well, the emotions feel natural, and everything fits together nicely.
The Chocolate
I really love corny stuff like this. I’m a sucker for mushy, heartfelt lines that feel so personal to the recipient. The fact that Kyle used a Pokémon card to express how much Ben means to him is such a nice touch. It’s a little cheesy, but in the best way possible—the kind of affectionate cheesiness that makes moments like this feel sincere and meaningful. It also shows that Kyle really sees Ben in a way no one else does, which makes their relationship all the more special.
Bottom Graham Cracker
All in all, this is a cute, heartfelt love story that really captures the feeling of young love—the nervous excitement, the subtle gestures, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, the other person feels the same. After reading this, it’s clear that telling the story from both sides was the perfect choice. It adds depth, making the connection between Ben and Kyle feel even stronger. Seeing the way they think about each other, even before anything is said out loud, just reinforces how much they truly care.
Aww I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this! I%u2019ll @ you when I write more stuff about them!
I made another fanfic with Ben and Kyle!!!
Ben meets someone <333
I made this fanfic too!
Kyle is thinking…thinking about what?
Yet another fanfic of them!:
Back to school…Kyle?