*This song/poem is under my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Raisa Accardi is the fan child I made of the Creepypastas Laughing Jack, who was created by Snuffbomb and Jason the Toymaker, who was created by Krisantyl. Her parents use her to lure children to them, telling her that they are “saving” the children. She does not think the children are dying until the ghosts start talking to her, telling her unpleasant things. She’s torn between loving her parents and doing what is right. This song sort of touches upon that. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this!*
Oh Raisa Accardi
Girl with rotten skin and swirly cone nose
Heart of strings and wood
Why, oh why, do you care for those you do not really know?
Your soul, it breaks at the mere thought of harming them
Your parents tell you not to worry
But you trust your parents, don’t you?
Never listen too long to their words
Or your kind mind will crumble
For they say they are hurt and it makes you want to scream
They blame your parents, but your parents are as caring as can be!
A clown and a toymaker, they bring such joy!
You help them out to make some noise
Oh Raisa Accardi
Hair so red it’s like a rag doll’s
Clothes of purple and pink
Turn up your music box
Drown out their sounds
Worry not
For your parents will protect you just as they always have
And if the people make you think
Ignore what they say
Never think too long
Because your parents are the only ones you should trust
They’re out of it too
They know exactly what it’s like
They’ll help you get through it, oh Raisa Accardi
Trust in what they say
Never run away
They know what to do
Oh Raisa Accardi
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hello Again, My Friend!
Back to continue the saga, and YAY, I love it when you write these poems for your characters/stories!!
It sounds like this poem is exploring more of what was pointed out in Raisa's diary entry, her conflicted feelings about what her parents tell her and what the children tell her. And I am absolutely LOVING it.
Once again, no recommendations for change!
For highlights, ooo, let's start with...
I love how you can simultaneously make your characters sound adorable and mortifying. Great character design XD
Oh man, THIS hit hard! I imagine Raisa becoming so sad, grieving at what these poor kids have endured, yet in order for her to believe them, she would have to believe that her own parents are the monsters in this situation. Which...yeah, they are. But she clearly doesn't fully share in that darkness and has that human side of her still. Especially remembering Aeliana, it's such a cool conflict to explore in a single young character, I feel so bad for her!
I love this part because it says so much in so little. It makes me imagine Jason and Laughing Jack just telling her "hey, stop listening to those kids and trust us!" Because, from an innocent/human perspective, that's the only way you can cope with what they've done. But it's not so easy after all...Plus, "turn up your music box" as a way of insisting she drown out the voices of those kids
And ending this on a note of more blind faith, and one more sorrowful repetition of "Oh Raisa Accardi," was brilliant. Love the tone, and leaves me feeling very uncertain about where this will lead poor Raisa.
Overall, awesome, absolute banger of a poem! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I%u2019m glad you%u2019ve enjoyed this.
Hey, I'll be reviewing your work today! wanted to start off by saying that I'm not very familiar with the backstory other than the short intro you wrote, but I'm quite fascinated with the concept.
Raisa is every child who starts off with the strongest foundations of faith in their parents but slowly starts to discover hidden secrets and lies that seem to shake her beliefs so strongly that she cannot continue thinking ill for her own sanity. The voice in her head employs a use of anaphora, becoming basically that toxic manifestation of her dependence on her parents that ensures she remains willfully blind and ignorant of their misdeeds, and the honey-sweet words are deadly poison when seen for what it truly is.
On the other hand, your usage of poetic license in " Oh Raisa Accardi" breaks up the poem into relatively uneven parts. And despite their being a pretty good sense of continuation, it makes the poem seem a little too narrative and story-like than a poem.
Liked it quite a lot and definitely think it deserves more appreciation.
Great work! <3
I%u2019m so glad you enjoyed and thanks for your suggestions.
Fanfics that connect to this:
When Laughing Jack met Jason the toymaker [Part One]
When Laughing Jack met Jason the toymaker [Part Two]
A good night’s sleep
A beautiful dress for LJ
Jason talks to LJ about the possibility of…A CHILD?!
Laughing Jack meets Aeliana!
Jason hears about the child!
Watching them play
Don’t eat too much candy canes
Goddamn! you've been busy, fs. Would love to check them out sometime! <3
Okay! ^v^