Young Writers Society


16+ Violence Mature Content

Tears of a broken little girl

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This is a song/poem about the Creepypasta Sally Dawn, created by La-Mishi-Mishi. It’s her backstory in song/poem form. This is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta Stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33”. Enjoy!*

She played with a toy bear called Charlie

She dressed him up and played with dollies

Light was her heart, carefree was her skip

All the days, she played and played

Not a single worry stayed

The adults loved her, for she was polite

The kids liked her, for she was nice


Then along came her rotten Uncle

His shoes made flowers crumble

He smiled at her, she smiled back

For to her, there was not a good soul a human lacked

He promised her love, he promised her joy

He promised to play with her and her toy

He tucked her in, it was a stormy night

He broke her apart, her eyes were filled with fright


The next day was her birthday

Shaking not from the cold, she told her mother what her eyes behold

Too troublesome for her to see

Mother reassured her that it was just a dream

She didn’t feel the slightest better, Uncle said he’d take her shopping

“It’s nice weather!”


Ushered she was into his car

Her spirit already tinged with tar

Far he took her, it got so dark

He stopped at her favorite park

She loved it with all her heart

He opened her door, demanded she get out

She shook her head, she began to pout

For she did not love the park that day

She didn’t even want to play

What she wanted was to run away

But he took her out, dragged her out


She screamed and cried, her pleas of help were denied

Up the hill, past the swings

Past the sandbox of lost toys and things

He pushed her down, onto the ground

He raised a rock high over her head

Her decaying heart pumped with dread


And the little girl was dead


He beat the rock into her scalp

And drove out

Bugs they came to feast on her skin

Her green eyes held horrors within


Her spirit was left all alone

With nowhere to call home

First came the fear, then the fury

Then that fury boiled into insanity


How dare he leave her be!

Dying in a dirt sea

She would make him pay

She’d make sure he’d never see the light of day


She came to his house, the place where he was free

Enraged was she, sickened was she

Brought knives and all manner of sharp things down on him

“One, two, three”


Dead is he, but forgotten? That will never be

She still lingers in the house, holding dear Charlie

Throngs of people, they come to her house

They won’t leave, they all want to see

The type of gore overtaking her body

She chases them, singing “Do you want to play with me?”

She sings with no innocence

She sings with no happiness

For her heart is gone and her tears mixed with blood

She knows not what she once loved

She knows not what her name was


But she was Sally

Sally Maryam Williams

Only eight and her skin already knew pain

She wanted to be a pretty Princess

She wanted to be a dancing ballerina

And now she’ll never be anything else


But the bleeding ghost in the abandoned house 

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
22Midnight
Review

Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: I already get the feeling that this is going to be really sad since the title definitely implies that, i do think that the title all on it's own was enough to draw me into properly read this peace, and I want to give you a real good hands up for that because sometimes titles aren't that interesting and can sometimes be over looked.

She played with a toy bear called Charlie

She dressed him up and played with dollies

Light was her heart, carefree was her skip

All the days, she played and played

Not a single worry stayed

The adults loved her, for she was polite

The kids liked her, for she was nice


Then along came her rotten Uncle

His shoes made flowers crumble

He smiled at her, she smiled back

For to her, there was not a good soul a human lacked

He promised her love, he promised her joy

He promised to play with her and her toy

He tucked her in, it was a stormy night

He broke her apart, her eyes were filled with fright


I loved how this started so wonderfully describing the main character, and how everyone liked her so much. :( but then everything gets sad when her uncle shows up, love the rhyming so far as well.

The next day was her birthday

Shaking not from the cold, she told her mother what her eyes behold

Too troublesome for her to see

Mother reassured her that it was just a dream

She didn’t feel the slightest better, Uncle said he’d take her shopping

“It’s nice weather!”


Ushered she was into his car

Her spirit already tinged with tar

Far he took her, it got so dark

He stopped at her favorite park

She loved it with all her heart

He opened her door, demanded she get out

She shook her head, she began to pout

For she did not love the park that day

She didn’t even want to play

What she wanted was to run away

But he took her out, dragged her out


wow what has he done to her to make her this scared of him already, that mother should've never let her daughter near that man who's obviously trouble, wHat'S he going to do wiTh hEr! wHY'D he draG heR oUt the cAr!!

She screamed and cried, her pleas of help were denied

Up the hill, past the swings

Past the sandbox of lost toys and things

He pushed her down, onto the ground

He raised a rock high over her head

Her decaying heart pumped with dread


And the little girl was dead


He beat the rock into her scalp

And drove out

Bugs they came to feast on her skin

Her green eyes held horrors within


HOW COULD SOMEONE BE SO HORRIBLE AND KILL an innOceNT CHILD! this is beyond sad, that pure girl had years to live still.

Her spirit was left all alone

With nowhere to call home

First came the fear, then the fury

Then that fury boiled into insanity


How dare he leave her be!

Dying in a dirt sea

She would make him pay

She’d make sure he’d never see the light of day


She came to his house, the place where he was free

Enraged was she, sickened was she

Brought knives and all manner of sharp things down on him

“One, two, three”


this is scary it's like even though she's dead her spirit still lives and it brought back a ghost that now haunts the uncle everyday so that he pays for what he did.

Dead is he, but forgotten? That will never be

She still lingers in the house, holding dear Charlie

Throngs of people, they come to her house

They won’t leave, they all want to see

The type of gore overtaking her body

She chases them, singing “Do you want to play with me?”

She sings with no innocence

She sings with no happiness

For her heart is gone and her tears mixed with blood

She knows not what she once loved

She knows not what her name was


But she was Sally

Sally Maryam Williams

Only eight and her skin already knew pain

She wanted to be a pretty Princess

She wanted to be a dancing ballerina

And now she’ll never be anything else


But the bleeding ghost in the abandoned house


OMG that's scary she killed the man who killed her, I can just imagine a really creepy voice lingering in my ears as I think of her singing right now. and so it's true she turned into a ghost and now people fear her instead of loving her like they used to.

Overall: I got to be honest with you vampricone anytime I read anything that you've written I never feel disappointed at the end. you kept up with the rhymes till the very end of the poem and this is not an easy thing to do, yet the story made complete sense and flowed beautifully with every line that was written and read. I always feel something towards your characters and this one definitely brought across a lot of waves of different emotions through out the hole poem which really brought it to life, and made it a wonderful read. :)

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya

Random avatar
TUMININU22 Comment

from beginning to the end
i enjoyed every part of it
though the story ended tragically to the girls death
living the reader in a quiet and sad mood
the little girls want for justice
was a great way to bring resolution and justice
by the girls so roaming around to kill the uncle
that laid her forcefully to unwanted rest
loved every stanza and every line
a lovely story
thanks for sharing

User avatar
Coffeewriter
Review

Hey this is Coffee, here to drop yet another warm review on a cold piece!! ^^

Firstly, I honestly love every piece from this series! They’re so sad and emotional yet imaginative and terrifying!!
I love how sad it is, the whole extract and especially a few lines make me feel so bad for Sally and wish her parents and/or anyone would have found her and taken her to aid or someone would have cared for her and mourned and looked for her desperately. It’s so sad and heartbreaking to think a little girl who was all sunshine and rainbows had to go through such a dramatic change in her life that she didn’t want at all and come out of it broken at such a young age.


“ She still lingers in the house, holding dear Charlie

Throngs of people, they come to her house

They won’t leave, they all want to see

The type of gore overtaking her body

She chases them, singing “Do you want to play with me?”

She sings with no innocence

She sings with no happiness

For her heart is gone and her tears mixed with blood

She knows not what she once loved “


This is so sad, the ending made me genuinely tear up!! I wanted to reach through the screen and give her a tight hug, she never deserved that! Nobody does at such a ripe age!! That man is pure evil, what did she ever do to him?!

She didn’t deserve to be created into a monster when she was just living her life happily without a care in the world except who to play with. She didn’t deserve to have her childhood snatched away from her, dangled in front of her but now, never in reach. Her fingers grazing the surface but never allowing her feet to touch the ground.

I guess Charlie was her only friend. Sad to think he wasn’t even a person. He was a toy bear. Her life had been golden before the “uncle” showed up and I felt so upset that her mother appears not to listen or care about her daughter’s worries. Any sane mother would be immediately concerned and wary!! Anything can happen in this world and sometimes children are the only ones who are in harms way or who notice it!!!


I hated when I read what happened to such a pure soul. The worst thing she’s probably done is maybe steal a sweet from her parent’s kitchen!! What happened to her was horrible.



Overall, I think this piece definitely made me shudder and feel incredibly sad for Sally! At least Charlie can keep her company though…
You’re so talented, this proves how much emotion you can make a stranger feel by your words!!! Well done!!^^


Thank you for sharing and reading! Have a great day/night!<3

Glad you enjoyed and yes, what happened to Sally is horrible.

Thank you! Yes, it is!!!



Writing is my soul made tangible on paper.
— bluewaterlily