Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
*This fanfic song/poem is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff” and is how I imagine the character of Nina, created by Alegotic-twevel, to be in how she thinks/personality. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Hi, it’s Nina!
I’ve got a thing for the creatures
Creepy crawlies, sharp teeth, long claws
Teeth to bite my skin
Claws to slash my neck
My little brother groans when I gush
My parents say their prayers
My friends tell me humans are better
Oh?
Like a human would ever love me?
Like a human would ever devote themselves to me?
I rot in a corner, waiting for the right monster to come and eat me
At least then I’ll be remembered
At least then I’ll be loved
Don’t scoff, this is how I am
I’ve never hurt a damned soul
And yet you think me criminal
Let a girl have her fantasies
It’s all she’s got left in this decaying life
I wish
A monster
Would just
Come and
E A T M E
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Heya! Hope here for a review!
This poem is very relatable but I do have a few things to point out.
There doesnt seem to be much of a rhyme scheme, it would probably read easier if we knew the melody, since you did say it is a song, and this is a problem that most songs have when written down. But it is still best to, even when it is a song, try and have some kind of rhyme scheme or have a strong line structure.
There isn't any really big issues with this otherwise.
I dont really know about Nina, but its a pretty good poem.
Nina is a Creepypasta character created by Alegotic-twevel. You can Google her if you want.
Glad you enjoyed this!
Hi, Vampricone6783! Creepy poem! I must admit, I don't know the series this is a fanfic of, so hopefully I didn't miss anything in the poem.
I like the stark contrast between the happy, almost childish tone of the first line and the dreadful, dark tone of the last few lines. I also love how you bring up "sharp teeth, long claws" and then the next two lines are about each in turn. It flows nicely!
I don't have a lot for constructive criticism since this poem already seems great! The only thing I would mention is the tone of lines 6-8 ("my little brother... humans are better") has more of an exasperated tone. Perhaps you could show that Nina's friends, parents, and brother are more concerned for her? Unless that tone is what you were aiming for anyway! Overall, great poem! I'll have to check out some of your others, too!
So glad you enjoyed! This is a fanfic of a Creepypasta character, Nina Hopkins. Creepypasta is a genre of internet horror stories.