*This fanfic chapter is under my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Nina and the three bullies mentioned were created by Alegotic-twevel. The girl in a lace dress is my OC. This is a reimagining of Nina’s origin. Jeff the killer was created by GameFuelTV. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
Nina stared absentmindedly at her schedule. She didn’t really want to miss classes, yet her mind was getting so…distant. It was her first day at school, the night had passed, but still…she couldn’t help but feel just a little weirded out that Jeff was in her room.
Why was Jeff in her room? Did he really care about her that much? She liked it at first, but the more she thought about it, the more creeped out she got. She thought about it at the breakfast table, when her parents were talking about their mundane jobs and her little brother, Chris, was watching Minecraft videos on their Mom’s phone while he ate cereal. She thought about it in the car ride to school and she was still thinking about it in the school hallway, schedule in hand.
Did Jeff really love her that much? Did he care about her like she imagined? Did-
“Hey new girl!” A voice that sounded too nice to be genuine screeched out.
Nina lifted her eyes from her schedule. Although Jeff had told her to sleep, she found it quite difficult to do so. Sure, she slept for about five minutes, but five minutes was all.
A girl with long, straight black hair with slightly natural makeup in a fashionable but boring white tracksuit stood at a locker with two equally handsome yet boring guys. Come to think of it, no guy was as handsome as Jeff.
“What?” She asked groggily. She supposed that they would bully her. Well, whatever. They could say whatever they wanted. Nothing could bother her that much at al-
“Is that my Grandma’s hoodie? I’ve been looking everywhere for it.” The girl smirked. The guys snickered at her quip.
Nina felt her blood being to boil beneath her sleepless haze. She was wearing her favorite purple hoodie which she got two years ago from Sienna. It was for her thirteenth birthday. Sure, there were food stains and the color was beginning to fade, but it was still just as good as when she first got it.
“You don’t look much better yourself, it girl wannabe.” A girl’s high, vaguely child-like sounding voice chirped in the distance.
The girl and her friends whipped their heads around to face the speaker. Nina opened her red eyes just a little wider to focus.
The person who had spoken was a girl with long, black hair just like the other girl. Only hers wasn’t brushed and had old pieces of candy stuck in them. The girl was wearing an 1800s white lace dress. A dress which was yellowing. On her feet were dirty white socks covered by muddy black boots.
On her right hand was a tray of pie.
“EAT PIE, CRINGEY!” The girl in the lace dress shrieked, her brown eyes wide and wild.
There was no way tracksuit girl could have avoided the flying pie. With perfect precession, it landed right on her face.
“Ugh, how dare you!” She moaned, mouth filled with lemon meringue frosting. The other two guys immediately dabbed at her face. Nina almost laughed, but bit down on her bottom lip. She didn’t want to get into any trouble on her first day, but still, what happened was so incredibly cartoony that she couldn’t help but smile a little.
She hadn’t smiled in a while.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hello Again, My Friend!
Once again, we're continuing the Nina arc here!
Aw, poor Nina. Sounds like even she is starting to have some questions, when faced with the potential reality that Jeff was in her room, and if that wasn't enough, the girls at this school just have to give her trouble too. In the most obnoxious way possible, too...But at least we get a new character here, and she sounds FUNNN!!
No recommendations for change, so let's dive into highlights!
Ooo, I like that Nina is finally starting to have questions about Jeff and his reasons for following her. Maybe this girl will reach an epiphany soon...
Ugh...THESE types... >.>
Okay, I already am loving the design and style here, I have some high hopes for this character...
Okay, confirmed, I LOVE this character!! XDD I don't know who this is, but she sounds like an awesome ball of chaos!
Overall, how exciting! A new character, and Nina starting to look at her situation in a different light after all...I wonder how this will develop! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Alright, I have now delved into this folder and there are a lot of reviews to do. Let’s go.
Oh we are dealing with a character that has a creepypasta live secretly in her room? I really like how you portray her being very distracted by all this, despite her the first day at school.
I think it comes across that she’s really tired and that the world is happening around her without her really taking notice.
Hmmm I really like that your OC came to help Nina and I really like the final line of this. It felt like there was a purpose to this story just by having Nina have a bit of bright spot here!