Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1200. This is a ship between Jeff the Killer (created by GameFuelTV) and Eyeless Jack (created by Azelf5000). Jeff is already a killer in this fic, but EJ isn’t. Not yet, he will be soon. Yes there will be romance, but this is when they first met. So it will come later! The year is 2009 in this fic. They are 19 years old. Enjoy and Happy Valoweekend!*
🫀🩻🩺 Jack 🩺🩻🫀
After a long night studying at medical school, Jack was heading back home to his apartment. He was pretty sure that he wouldn’t get enough time to sleep, but that was to be expected for what he strived to be.
The night air was cool, the sky was dark, and his head was swimming with thoughts that didn’t entirely make sense and threatened to pierce him mentally, but Jack pushed them to a far corner of his mind and sat on the bus stop bench.
He thought that maybe it’d be a good and productive idea to go over the notes he took, but he zipped up his backpack right after he unzipped it. He couldn’t think straight and he had been productive since the still-dark early morning. Perhaps it would be a good time to reflect, as one supposedly did on late nights.
Jack stared at the bright white street lights, thinking of the fluorescent lights that blared his eyes back at medical school. He understood that the lights had to be bright, but he wished that they were slightly dimmer, because the lights hurt his head a little bit.
The lights were there to help him see the patients better, especially when they needed surgery. It wouldn’t be just adults either, but small children. Small children with wide eyes and half-formed ideas of the world around him, children that he wouldn’t always be able to save, children-
The lights were so bright that Jack could barely see the doctors above him as they discussed his seizure-that was what they called it-but truthfully, he didn’t actually remember it happening. He just woke up in his Mom’s arms, her eyes looking down at him in petrified shock as he lay on the ground. Distantly he had wondered what happened to make him on the ground before he had started to realize he wasn’t on the ground before and it wasn’t normal, so he asked what happened and-
“You look tired.” A man’s voice said.
Jack turned towards his right, where the voice had come from, and flinched a little at the sight.
There was a man sitting next to him, who looked about nineteen, Jack’s age. He had long, mangled black hair and wide white eyes. The man wore a black trench coat, black pants, and black boots, as if he wanted to blend into the darkness. Jack couldn’t see his whole face because the man wore a surgical mask over his mouth.
“Medical school will do that to you. But it’s all going to be worth it when I’m out there saving lives.” Jack said, trying to ignore the not-so-happy side of being a doctor. Who knew, maybe he’d be able to help everyone, possibly even develop a cure for certain diseases? Like his Mom always said “never say never”.
“And what are you going to do if someone doesn’t want to be saved? What would you do if they just wanted to die?” The man asked.
It wasn’t an accusatory tone, just curious, like the man was genuinely wondering. In fact, Jack thought he’d heard a sliver of pain in the man’s voice, like he had been running for a long, long time and hiding for a long, long time and his heart twisted when he imagined just what could have gotten the man next to him in his position.
“I’m not really sure if my words will help, but I’d try to let them know that there’s always one person or animal who loves them and that even the most boring things in life can sometimes be charming. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just let them know that they’ll miss out on their favorite band’s concert.” Jack said, attempting a smile. He wasn’t certain if what he said would help, but he tried and he hoped that he didn’t upset the man.
“That’s a good answer. I wouldn’t want to miss an Evanescence performance. Do you like Evanescence?” The man asked.
“Are you kidding? Of course I like Evanescence!” Jack said, feeling a bit lighter after the man mentioned one of the literal best bands ever.
“Really? What’s your favorite song? Mine is Going under.” The man said in a slightly amused tone.
“No way, that’s my favorite too! I listen to it all the time on my iPod, especially on my way to school! It helps a little with all the work I have to do-do you go to this school? Are you like, around here or something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” Jack said.
He wondered if he was bothering the man too much with his question, but he genuinely thought it was nice talking to him and he wanted to be sure that he knew more about the man in case they crossed paths again.
The man leaned back on the chair, scratching the side of his surgical mask a bit. For a moment, Jack wondered if the boy just liked wearing a mask or if there was something deeper to it, because sometimes, people wore masks to hide deep wounds.
Or maybe Jack was completely overthinking it and the man just wanted to wear a mask over his mouth.
“That’s because I don’t really like to come out during the day. It’s calmer at night.” The man said.
“Yes, I get that. Nobody else is around to bother you. But it hurts that I can’t even enjoy the night with all the work I do. All I can think about is going to sleep.” Jack said as he stared at the softly swaying trees in front of him, the empty tar road that had small sparkles in the moonlight, a result of the reflection the moon gave on the granite. Or was it tar? Jack didn’t know much about how roads were made.
He thought about Jenny and Greg back at school, two people whom he called “friends” because they liked hanging around him a lot and wanted to invite him to parties. He always said “No” and yet still, they’d ask him, just to see if he would “change his mind”.
They were his friends and he supposed that he should have felt grateful that they wanted to talk to him at all, but nothing really felt right when they hung out together, like everything was happening too fast and all at once, and Jack didn’t know how he would be able to talk about how he felt with them.
That was why he liked the night. It was still and undisturbed from the words and bustling of people and so, that was why he was starting to like the man. The man spoke to him but didn’t give him much answers, as though he were nothing more than a ghost or a dream. Was he a ghost? Was he even real? Even though being a doctor was more science-based, Jack still wanted to believe that there was something more out there, something that he and his classmates would never completely understand no matter how hard he tried, because then his life would feel more like it was worth something and so that the pain would lessen a bit if patients died under his care, if an afterlife really did exist.
Besides, science and the supernatural could coexist together.
“Sleep. That must be nice, to go to sleep. I can’t sleep at all.” The man remarked, his voice a bit wispy, as though it would fade into the calm night wind.
Jack’s heart twisted with concern as he thought about the many reasons why the man couldn’t sleep, where he had come from and if everything was okay for the man. Sure, they just met, but it didn’t feel right of Jack to simply go on with his life and leave someone else behind.
Just then, the bus’ white lights blared on the road and the sound of the wheels roaring on the pavement were so loud that Jack could hardly hear himself think and then, the bus was in front of him, opening its glass doors for him.
“Well, my bus stop is here. If you want you can come with me. Maybe you’ll get some sleep then and-“
But Jack was talking to nobody. The man had disappeared.
He looked out into the trees, behind the bus stop, even behind him, but the man was nowhere to be found. He walked into the bus with a heavy heart, not quite certain why he seemed to care about a man he only got a few words with. He wanted to chase the man but didn’t even know where to look and he had to get home.
As Jack took his seat in one of the plastic chairs, he wondered what would happen if the man came with him. Would he talk more? Maybe they would both get a chance to say their names. Maybe they’d become friends, even.
Maybe the man would even sleep on his shoulder.
………………………………………………………………….
🖤🩸🔪 Jeff 🔪🩸🖤
Jeff stormed down the sidewalk, pushing his bangs away from his eyes as he tried not to think about the conversation he had with the man earlier.
He shouldn’t have spoken to the man at all, the more he thought about it. It wasn’t like he would ever see the man again. It wasn’t like the man would want to see him again, especially if Jeff was covered in blood, which was almost every single time.
The trench coat hid his bloody hoodie and bloodstained jeans, just like how the surgical mask hid his carved-on smile.
As much as Jeff wanted to forget about that night in 2003, he didn’t want it to leave it all behind, because if he did, then he wouldn’t be smart. He wouldn’t protect himself.
When he got to the national park, he sat down on the bench, drinking the can of Monster Energy that he left behind and settling in for the night.
Nobody else was awake but him.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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@lovelydove @goodolnoah you might want to read this!
This connects to this:
Late on Halloween night…
Good morning! :3

I guess I will take a look at all the stories in this folder now that I was missing out on! Starting with this one!
And I really appreciate the A/N at the beginning because I kind forgot that there is a different Jack than LJ out there too @.@ (I saw a license plate with “LJ” on it a while back and my brain went: Laughing Jack???)
Ok ok to the story *saluts*
I like the beginning two paragraphs! I feel like they set up the story well and we get enough personality from Jack that we’re all good for things to come~
Hmmm looking at his eventual name, I guess it just makes sense that EJ does not like the light…
That’s a really good paragraph, showing some mania (maybe bc of the late hour?) “ children that he wouldn’t always be able to save“
Since you already have „a man’s voice” earlier, maybe you could go with “The man was sitting next to him” here? “There was a man sitting next to him,“
Oh EJ sounds so invested in saving ppl… I wonder how that changes (or if it changes!)
Aww I rly like their conversation, and also the points raised by EJ for why continuing to live is always a good idea (tho I think that maybe, Jeff will have some good counter points in the future—you brought across his tiredness of life pretty well)
I like how you can interprete this literally and figuratively! “because sometimes, people wore masks to hide deep wounds.” Is he wearing a mask to hide an external or an internal/mental wound, now? :3
I kinda wish you’d describe what made him so ethereal here: “The man spoke to him but didn’t give him much answers, as though he were nothing more than a ghost or a dream.”
Ohh like this, nice! “his voice a bit wispy, as though it would fade into the calm night wind.”
I think you worked in really well why EJ will keep thinking abt Jeff :3
…………….
I love the contrast to Jeff tho! I could imagine his fuming abt his own feelings rly well, how he doesn’t understand himself at the moment (even if we as the readers do~)
“which was almost every single time.” Must have had a good night since he didn’t immediately scare off Jack ^^
I like this ending of the chapter. Overall this felt very complete!
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Thx for reading and I%u2019m glad you enjoyed!
Hai :3
Happy Review Day!!
This excerpt has a really strong quiet-meets-ominous atmosphere!! I like that, even when reading out of order, the scene feels emotionally readable. Jack is exhausted, tender, and full of medical anxieties, while Jeff is this strange night-creature who enters the scene like a ghost. The bus stop setting works well because it’s liminal ~~ It's not home, not school, just this lonely in-between place where two isolated people can briefly touch each other’s lives.
Love this characterization!!
The medical-school material, too, is interesting, but it could use more specificity maybe?? “Saving lives” and “children he wouldn’t always be able to save” are emotionally clear, but a little broad. Since Jack is in medical school, one or two concrete details would make his exhaustion feel more lived-in: a memorized anatomy term stuck in his head, the smell of gloves, a lecture slide, a professor’s warning, something small and clinical that contrasts with his softness, etc. Medical school is a major part of someone's life!!
^^^ I think the biggest thing to tighten right now is internal repetition. Jack’s thoughts circle around being tired, wanting to help people, not being able to save everyone, and wondering about the stranger. Like, the lights in the quote above!! Those are good ideas, but they repeat in similar emotional shapes ~~ I’d choose the sharpest version of each feeling and let the dialogue carry more of the rest. Right now, the narration sometimes explains the emotional meaning before the reader gets to digest it. Let them develop on their own as people!!
Hehe!! This is a really sweet look into their relationship, and I love how it feels like conversations I've had with new friends!!
Jeff’s entrance is one of the strongest parts!! The mask, the black clothing, the sleeplessness, the Evanescence mention all of that gives him this early-2000s gothic loneliness that fits the fic. I especially like that he asks, “what if someone doesn’t want to be saved?” because that immediately creates tension between Jack’s healer instinct and Jeff’s death-haunted worldview. That’s probably the emotional center of the scene, and I’d lean into it even more.
^^^ The one thing I’d adjust is how quickly they bond over Evanescence. It’s cute!! I do like it, but the shift from suicidal/philosophical question to “favorite band” happens very fast. Maybe let there be one awkward moment between them first, or have Jack notice the subject change as strange ~~ That would make Jeff feel more evasive and haunted rather than just conveniently friendly. I know he's technically meant to be a "bad guy" in pop culture, so it could be fitting for his character!! Correct me if I'm wrong >.< I'm not too familiar with the source of this.
OOOH!!!! I was on the right track!!
The ending from Jeff’s POV is great because it recontextualizes the whole scene... The trench coat hiding blood and the mask hiding his carved smile is such a chilling reveal, especially after Jack had been imagining him as someone wounded and worth saving. That contrast is super tragic!! I’d just polish the pacing so the scene has more silence, more unease, fewer explained emotions, maybe some more atmospheric details. The bones are really good here!!
Overall, this was a nice little story!! Jack and Jeff’s interaction feels fragile in a way I really enjoy, like both of them are reaching toward connection but neither knows how to hold it yet. The ending image of Jack wondering if the man might sleep on his shoulder is SO sweet and sad, especially contrasted with Jeff alone in the park, unable to sleep at all. What a look into their heads!! Great job!! ^_^
- Payton
Thx for the review and your advice! I will try to lean into more of that emotional convo, I just wasn%u2019t sure I would be able to write it well.