*In the spirit of Halloween, I made this fanfic poem. It’s a Creepypasta poem with the character “Laughing Jack” who was created by Snuffbomb. This is under my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
From out of the pumpkin
Comes a spindly black-and-white striped arm
Its owner is the funny clown, Laughing Jack!
From his bony black claw waits a multi-colored lollipop
Go on and take it
It’s Halloween night
Come and have a bite
Of sweet, poisoned candy
From the twisty turny spindly clown
Laughing Jack!
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hello there, friend! I always love reading you're a wonderful fan fictions and poems. So I thought I would stop by and leave a review for this piece of yours! Let's jump right into it, shall we?
One thing that I noticed right from the start, was your attention to adding details. I really like how you paint this vivid image, of him coming right out of this pumpkin, looking black and white striped. You give us a bit more history of the owner, laughing Jack. I like how you include other details as well, like the bony claw and multicolored lollipop. Adding the details made it a lot easier to picture what is going on, during such an interesting scene, that I probably haven't really seen before. Doing that helps me see it more vividly and stay more engaged, so awesome work!
In the second part of the poem, we are personally being invited to go and take a bite of that lollipop. It seems like this is poisoned, by laughing Jack, who seems to be very evil. I wonder what makes him an evil clown and how he got this way. You also do a good job at setting the scene, we know that it's Halloween night, and we know where we are too. I like the spookiness that this has, because you leave out some details about what exactly he's trying to do, but that invitation to go and take a bite feels very spooky. Overall, this poem was very quick and short but I like the details that you included and I felt engaged while reading it.
Awesome work and keep on writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
So very glad you enjoyed!
Hello! I was drawn to this work like a vision in a crystal ball. Now, let's crack it open and see what eerie secrets it holds--whether it's a true fright or just a trick of the light. I hope you enjoy this review, brought to you by my Halloween inspired review template :3 Happy Spooky season! 👻
I'm excited to see what awesome horror works you put out this year, vampricone! Let's get into this awesome poem about Laughing Jack, shall we?
🎃The Summoning🎃
For my first review with this new template, so I thought it'd only be right if I reviewed a halloween-themed work. After all, isn't that what spooky season is all about?
🔮 Wickedly Good! 🔮
I loved the subtle rhyme here! It adds a rhythmic flow to this piece, which I think is definitely on theme. Wonderful addition!
I'm a bit familiar with laughing jack from your stories, so I have a vague idea of just picturing him while reading this poem. You did a great job really setting the scene with this poem for any future works you'll release about Laughing Jack. I also loved the exclamation at the end, it was like a jumpscare! Which I'm sure was your intention XD
🪦 Graveyard Grumbles 🪦
I do have one recommendation, and it's about word choice here:
I think it'd sound better as "multi-colored" lollipop. But that's such a small suggestion, so feel free to ignore this!
🍬 The Final Fright 🍬
Overall, this definitely got me in the Halloween spirit! I can't wait to see what amazing things you publish being as this is basically your domain :3. I really enjoyed this read, and I wish you a great rest of your day!
I'll see you soon for another review! Happy Spooktober!
I%u2019m thrilled that you enjoyed this!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Well this is quite a cute little poem here. You'd hardly suspect all the horrors that wait just underneath it. I think you do a great job really presenting it as this cute little Halloween jingle, just taking at least on the surface with this vibe of childlike wonder and excitement and the happiness that can come with Halloween.
Then of course you focus just a little bit deeper on the lines and the horror comes seeping right in. I think you do an excellent job there lacing in the lines about the poisoned candy just so seamlessly, melding it into the melody so at first you don't suspect anything before you stop for a moment and realize oh wait, this is actually horrifying and Laughing Jack is out to kill a whole lot of people. I think that effect really captures the essence of how Laughing Jack himself also tricks people with innocent looking candy only for them to fall prey to his poison.
Overall I think a powerful little poem, really expressing the kind of values that Laughing Jack brings to Halloween. It makes for quite a fun (and terrifying) read.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
Glad you enjoyed this!