Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Zachary lay on the couch, watching cheesy, predictable Valentine’s Day films with his girlfriend, Rosemary, plopped on his body. She slept soundly on top of him.

Zachary himself would have slept if thoughts of The Puppeteer and Emra didn’t haunt his mind. The Puppeteer was the one pulling the strings on Emra, she didn’t agree with the evil he was doing, but she was even worse for loving him, for thinking that The Puppeteer didn’t have an ounce of good in him.

OOoh interesting little start here. I mean instantly we're pulled in two interesting little directions there. One with the idea of the two of them just lying together so peacefully and I mean I might be reaching just a little bit quite content and perhaps in love only to see this other thought that haunts Zachary of another person in love. I can't quite decide if this Emra is loving another person entirely who is potentially being forced into loving an evil person or it almost feels like this Puppeteer is maybe Zach himself but I think that option is the less likely of the two. Either way quite the conundrum to start with.

None of them knew about Rosemary and he would have it stay that way. Rosemary didn’t know about his real life, that The Puppeteer pulled the strings on him and Emra and made them kill innocent people, how Emra didn’t even try to fight back the urge, how Zachary’s home was full of nothing but despair and agony.

He wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with the one he truly loved. Perhaps one day, he and Rosemary would live a peaceful life together.

But in that moment, he could pretend that there was nothing wrong, that they were a predictable, boring couple from the predictable, boring movies.

Well we have our little confirmation it would seem, Zachary is our little Puppeteer and quite an evil one at that, dreaming of being with a one true love that well clearly sees the sicker and more twisted parts of him and rightfully realizes there is no good to be had there. Its an interesting perspective to view seeing how Zachary himself sees it, really showcases the kind of attitude he has towards life and it really leaves with quite a few intriguing thoughts most prominent of which I think is how much poor Rosemary is going to suffer here with Zach who seems to only be with her just to have a valentine.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate

Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review your new story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Albeit short, what a cute moment between a proxy and a human! With the dynamic of being a tool for the Puppeteer on a normal basis, yet doing normal things with a normal girl now, it's like this moment was plucked out of a broader romantic -but also somewhat tragic- poem. Perfect for a Valentine's Day treat! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I have no corrections or recommendations to make! I could imagine some cute dialogue from Zachary, about the sleeping Rosemary, but I will leave that to my imagination and not nitpick; this piece has all the essentials it needs to stand out and speak for itself as it is.

Why The Grin Widened...

My favorite moment from this piece is simple enough. That ending!

But in that moment, he could pretend that there was nothing wrong, that they were a predictable, boring couple from the predictable, boring movies.

This was just the perfect summary of the moment, like the cherry on top of it all. How even someone like Zachary can latch on to a tradition to have a night of normalcy, and even those "boring" moments can be some of the best -especially for these cursed souls. That's how I interpreted it, but so cute either way ~

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, this was a wonderful little piece to go with the February holiday theme, and the Creepypasta theme made it all the more exciting to me. Nicely done!

Hello, Vampricone! Come to give a quick review for your short story


As the Ballad Begins (first impressions)

A piece set on a cute film date on Valentine's day (which it is as i write this haha) where Zachary, a proxy to the Puppeteer, lies on the sofa with his girlfriend Rosemary sleeping next to him. It seems harmless, but due to his ties to such a dangerous person/ creature, a lot is at stake.

Little Ale Spills (what you could improve on)
It wasn't long enough! I really want to read more from these two, they seem like a really nice couple that defy the odds of expectation. In all seriousness, I think that you could maybe clarify a tad more who you're talking about in the first paragraph concerning the Puppeteer- I was getting a bit confused about who loved who etc.

Enthralling Performance (best bits and lines!)

But in that moment, he could pretend that there was nothing wrong, that they were a predictable, boring couple from the predictable, boring movies.

A great image considering the sinister origins of Zachary- there's a level of escapism, like he wants to literally become the couple from the movie they're watching

...how Zachary’s home was full of nothing but despair and agony

ahhhhh i love the imagery! He's fighting, unlike Emra, against the urge to kill at the Puppeteer's whim, but it only brings pain, and he's trying his hardest to hide it from the one he loves.

Bardic Inspiration (a few parting notes)
Amazing little snippet of writing, and at great timing for Valentine's Day (i think Valoween is what I'm calling it from here onwards though) would love to read more about these two in the future!

Best wishes,
-humblebard