*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Laughing Jack was created by Snuffbomb, Jason the toymaker was created by Krisantyl. This is one of my Creepypasta ships. Enjoy!*
Laughing Jack had one arm wrapped around Jason’s waist and one claw holding his hand. He tried his best to follow what Jason was doing, but he kept stepping on Jason’s feet, the static music on the radio seeming to cackle at him like spoiled children who thought that they knew everything.
“Don’t overthink it, love. Just take a few steps.” Jason said with a smile.
Laughing Jack did as he said, trying his best to not let the thoughts swirl and scream in his head. He wasn’t graceful, he wasn’t perfect, he-
“You’re doing wonderful!”Jason beamed, his green eyes holding hints of joy.
The dolls watched them both wide, curious eyes. Laughing Jack could hear the hushed whispers of the children as they waltzed, their voices in an incomprehensible jumble.
Jason was being awfully kind to him, for he did not dance as well as Jason, but still, he appreciated the words.
The static radio love songs were but a soft croon, a soothing mixture in all that was chaos and insanity. No, Laughing Jack did not want to change who he was. But that didn’t mean that he liked having random moments of paranoid thoughts of being abandoned, of being left to rot. His life wasn’t all cotton candy and spilled blood, it was also misery and suffocation.
With Jason by his side, he didn’t think much about anything. There was only the static songs and Jason’s eyes.
Static songs and Jason’s eyes. Static songs and Jason’s eyes. Static songs and Jason’s eyes. Static songs and Jason’s eyes.Static songs and Jason’s eyes.Static songs and Jason’s eyes. Static songs and Jason’s lovely green eyes, how bright are they! Like the paint on his dolls! Oh, how vividly vibrant they are! They twinkle so prettily, too. Isn’t he so beautiful? His soft, rag-doll skin crinkles when he smiles with his jagged teeth, bringing out those tempting angel eyes more! His voice, like silk ribbons twisting along! He makes the most alive dolls, too! So much patience with everything he does. Doesn’t he move like the swaying leaves on a tree? He moves in a much calmer way than me. Goodness, is there anything he can’t do?
Suddenly, Laughing Jack was lifted off his feet and spun around the air. The dolls all became a colorful blur, the static radio songs nothing but white noise. His stitched heart beat rapidly in his chest, his head was swarmed with feelings of ecstasy. Such pleasant feelings mostly came when he murdered and when said feelings arose, he could only do one thing:
A maniacal cackle rose and fell from his black lipsticked mouth, the whole world a free, delightful dream.
As quickly as it came, Jason lowered him to the ground, both arms around him in what Laughing Jack assumed to be a dip, for sometimes he saw humans dance and then “dip” one another, which was one slight lowering to the ground, just enough so that the one person could catch the other.
Laughing Jack still felt the remains of the event settling within him, like the last sparks of fireworks. Jason had a longing look in his eyes, the kind that Laughing Jack saw when he first opened the box, when he wanted so desperately to be with him, when love had started to overwhelm him completely. It was a look which looked as though it would spiral into an endless Ferris Wheel, one that Laughing Jack wouldn’t mind staying in forever.
The music had stopped. There was only silence, save for the whispers of the dead children. Yet neither let go of one another. Jason had brought Laughing Jack closer and closer until their faces were so close that not even the children spirits could hear them.
“You don’t have to be the most talented dancer out there. Just following the steps is enough. Besides, I couldn’t have asked for a better partner than you.” Jason whispered.
Well! He…he really thought those things, didn’t he? It was evident in his tone and in his eyes, not a single hint of a joke inside. Laughing Jack didn’t think he would joke or lie about such things, but still! Such words rendered him speechless! He always knew what to say at any moment, yet then and there, only a chuckle came out.
And then, Jason closed the small gap between them, kissing him ever so sweetly, ever so lovingly. Laughing Jack returned the favor, never wanting to forget the feeling of being wanted beyond his powers, beyond what he could give anyone.
Even the children stopped whispering. For that span of a moment, there was nothing in the world but an infinite void and the two of them.
Except instead of the empty void in the box all those years ago, Laughing Jack wasn’t lonely.
That made all the difference.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This is a sequel to this story in my comment!
Static radio love songs and toys with watchful eyes
Hi, again! Here we have the next Jack and Jason story, and it’s another cute one. I am really enjoying the personality you’ve built for both of these characters. They feel like something original, even though they’re fanfiction, you know? Once again, I love how awkward and stubborn Jack is in this story, how gentle Jason is with him, and just all the creepy aspects of the environment and between these characters. Blood being brought up alongside classic confections: how do you get more creepypasta than that? I also like how Jason is, in his own creepy way, humanizing Jack a little, by introducing him to music and dance. What also caught my eye was that one part, “the kind that Laughing Jack saw when he first opened the box, when he wanted so desperately to be with him, when love had started to overwhelm him completely”. I’m sure this is referencing an earlier story, but I also appreciate you putting this in the story, so it’s understandable even if you haven’t read it. This basically tells me Jason was the one who rediscovered Laughing Jack, and that’s how they met, and it gives just the right amount of context to better understand and enjoy this moment.
As with Raven down there, I don’t know what to bring up for improvements, since I didn’t really spot any typos, or anything such as that. I almost think, in the same way you can really turn an environment or dialogue creepy, there could be more creepiness between these two? I can imagine them being a Morticia and Gomez Addams sort of couple. Something, for example, along the lines of Jack “lovingly” sinking his claws into Jason’s ragdoll side, some fangs puncturing the skin during the kiss, things like that. I think that’d take the scary factory up to the next tier. At first, I also questioned the repetition of “static songs and Jason’s eyes” in that one part, but in its own way, it’s also charming, because it’s almost lyrical, you know?
For scoring, I’d give it maybe…8.5/10. Really good, and stays true to the creepypasta fandom. Nice job.
Ooh thank you so much! And I love the Morticia and Gomez Addams mentioned!!! I definitely do kind of want to go for the vibe!
Hello, My Friend!
It's me, Raven, here to check out this sequel and drop a little review! Let's dive right in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
This was just adorable! Just Laughing Jack and Jason dancing together; short and sweet, nothing overly complex, very nice way to follow up on this alternative universe you have going on! I love how you go in-depth and portray the emotions on either end here, and the context of the dance makes it all feel more whimsical and intimate--and of course, gotta love the trademark creepy details! Likewise, I loved the little details we got of the setting, like the waltzing dolls and static radio ~
For technicalities, I don't have anything to bring up! I couldn't find any typos, any lines that read awkwardly, or anything of the like.
My favorite moments, hm...I really enjoyed that chunk of thought from Laughing Jack--the repetition in the beginning, and how poetic the following lines feel, makes it feel almost lyrical, which really amplified those Gothic romance vibes.
Also, this line...
Loved that XD
Overall, I thought that was awesome, great work!!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thank you!! ^v^ I am working on the story where they meet but with LJ%u2019s perspective, I%u2019ll let you know when it%u2019s out. :>
I%u2019ve written another fic with LJ and Jason!
A good night’s sleep