*The characters mentioned in this fanfic were created by Krisantyl. This is a Creepypasta fanfic and it’s under my folder titled “Creepypasta Stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
“I like your toys.” A voice said.
Jason looked up. He wasn’t used to other kids talking to him, especially during recess, when everyone was already playing with their friends.
Yet there was a girl standing before him, brown eyes shining with delight, dark brown, velvet-like curls framed around her umber-colored face.
She swayed side to side, pink dress swishing with her. She looked just like a doll, something that Jason would have crafted.
“Thank you! I made all of these toys myself!” Jason said brightly. He felt his face flush, excitement flowing through him.
“Really? That’s amazing! Can I play with you?” The girl asked.
She liked his toys! She wanted to play with him!
“Yes, you can play with me! But what’s your name? I’m Jason.” Jason said with a smile.
“I’m Amelia.” The girl said.
Finally, he had a real friend who would talk back to him, who appreciated his toys, who wanted to spend time with him!
For the first time in his life, Jason had company.
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140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Hi Vamp!! Raven dropping in with a quick review.
Ooo, here we see you introduce Amelia into the story. Nice!! On the surface, this definitely feels like what their first encounter would be like—deceptively innocent, Amelia wanting to befriend him, Jason having good intentions at first. Though from what I remember about Jason's story, that's bound to change a bit...
As far as technicalities and such, nothing much! I noticed there's a missing space between "what's" and "your" when Jason asks for her name, but nothing else.
AS far as favorite part, hmm...I would pick this:
Amelia's design is so cute!! Love her!!
It's neat the the conduit to their friendship was toys, as it fits the theme. Plus, you can just tell how much her praise means to Jason. They may be ramshackle toys, but he's clearly proud of them, and that is adorable!
Overall, that was a great continuation of Jason's backstory! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this!
This was a nice read and reminded me of how nice it was to have someone talk and want to play with you when you didn't know anyone or you were feeling lonely be yourself. Childhood is precious and a time where friends are important.
This was a really nice read. Thxs
Only thing would be minor grammar mistakes, that could easily be fixed tho.
Childhood is a special time when true friendships blossom without any expectations or hidden intentions. Jason and Amelia’s friendship grew naturally where they enjoyed each other's company, simply playing. This kind of bond, where nothing is forced, is a beautiful part of growing up.
Just an advice or my opinion adding more details about Jason could make the story even more engaging. It might help readers connect with him better and spark their curiosity as they learn about his background and feelings. Overall, the story is sweet and charming, capturing the innocence of childhood friendships in just a few words.
Childhood is a special time when true friendships blossom without any expectations or hidden intentions. Jason and Amelia’s friendship grew naturally where they enjoyed each other's company, simply playing. This kind of bond, where nothing is forced, is a beautiful part of growing up.
Just an advice or my opinion adding more details about Jason could make the story even more engaging. It might help readers connect with him better and spark their curiosity as they learn about his background and feelings. Overall, the story is sweet and charming, capturing the innocence of childhood friendships in just a few words.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well this was another rare lovely little piece from you. Looks like things are for once going well for Jason from the looks of things. And we have a friend that seems pretty nice there.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Well quite the start here. We're seeing Jason become friends with someone potentially although the comparison to a doll does have me thinking some bad things might go down. We'll find out soon enough I suppose.
Well seems like a good enough introduction right off the bat. It seems at least at the start they will just play and they're going to be just friends. We're going to hope it stays that way.
Well that seems like quite a lovely time there. Love that Jason is finally going to get a friend. I have a feeling this might not last too terribly long given what we know of the future but we'll find out.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall I think its another lovely little piece here. Looking forward to finding out more on how all of this will eventually pan out. I have a feeling this particular one doesn't end too well.
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate