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Crybaby and the clown- A treat for the child (Chapter Nine)

by vampricone6783

*This is Chapter Nine of my crossover fanfic “Crybaby and the clown”. Crybaby was the former persona of the singer Melanie Martinez. This chapter is based on her song “Mad Hatter”. I recommend that you watch the music video before reading this. The clown in this story is “Laughing Jack” from the Creepypasta fandom, created by Snuffbomb. This story is underneath my folder titled “Creepypasta stuff”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Crybaby walked upstairs, to her room, for she could not bear to look at the living room screen any longer. Her bedroom TV still blared on, the house was still silent, but at least she was in the comfort of her room.

Her eyes caught a curious bottle with a tag on it,standing on her night table.

She grabbed it and studied the tag.

It read as followed:

“To someone who is anything but a Crybaby-

I’m crazy. I’m a little mad. I get too clingy. I want someone to be there for me. I don’t want to be alone.

I guess you don’t want to be alone either. You went out to look for Johnny, because you were certain that you’d find him. I don’t blame you. I too wanted my friend to stay.

But you have power beyond the understanding of man. A power you don’t realize you have. I see it. In your eyes. You’re better than this life.

This drink that you’re holding in your hand, should you choose to drink it, contains ingredients that could amplify your powers and bring you to your true potential.

So come on, kiddo. Give it a try.

-A clown who ceased to laugh, but not to love.”

Crybaby beamed, happy tears falling from her eyes. He did care about her! He wasn’t mad at her!

She opened up the bottle cap and took a swig of the drink, excitement and only a sprinkle of fear in her veins for the power that was to surface through.

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96 Reviews

Points: 8639
Reviews: 96

Sat Jun 15, 2024 5:13 am
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Moonlily wrote a review...

Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. This might be a shorter one but I hope it will at the very least give you a pick-me-up. Let's get into it, shall we?

This one is a short but sweet one the letter was cute. I haven't read too many of the other ones but I still found it adorable moments like these are great for character-building. On top of that, I like you portrayed the loneliness in the house as it is true to the album. That's what I can at least gather from songs like Sippy Cup and Dollhouse the narrative is not one of a stable family.

With that being said I don't have to say in regards to feedback. My main thing is stuff I have beaten to death to death in other reviews. I do wish that more sensory details were added or that the bottle was described more. ( I know you did say to watch the video but I feel it could still make it pop by taking the time to add in these layers)

Other than that stuff You did a good job making a short sweet break from the scares. Keep writing and Drink water!

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120 Reviews

Points: 15826
Reviews: 120

Mon Jun 03, 2024 7:28 pm
LuminescentAnt wrote a review...

Hey vampricone! I'm here to leave a review for you.

I love these emotional chapters. It is nice to read chapters that aren't just scary but more heartfelt or sad. I liked the letter, it felt very sincere and genuine and shows that LJ cares and is capable of caring even though he is a clown. And I like how you conveyed a sort of unsettling vibe. I'm worried that something is going to happen to her, because even though the letter was nice, I feel like it's actually something bad.

I think you could add more visual description for the bottle though, because you just said that it was a curious bottle, and didn't say what kind it was, what kind of liquid was inside, or what it looked like. Maybe it would make us feel more suspicious or less suspicious about it. There also seemed to be an absence of details about Crybaby’s bedroom and what it looks like. Describing that could add to character development about Crybaby and maybe the reader can learn more about her personality. Little details like what are the general feeling heme colors of her room or what kind of decorations she has are important in establishing character, even so late in the story.

I absolutely love this line,

A clown who ceased to laugh, but not to love

It’s so poetic and meaningful and a great ending to the letter. And it shows that LJ is very understanding, or at least, he is trying to appear to be so. It is a very satisfying and nice ending to the note, and perfectly fitting.

Nice job with this chapter! I really enjoyed reading about it, and I love reading this series. While it is a combined fan fiction, you managed to squeeze some nice morals and lessons in there and you should be proud of yourself for that.


On some days, my will to write disappears faster than a donut at a police station.
— Arcticus