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16+ Violence Mature Content

A macabre Valentine’s Day…

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This is a ship between two characters from the Creepypasta fandom (an internet horror fandom), Laughing Jack, an evil demonic clown who kills people and Jason the Toymaker, who turns kids into dolls. Laughing Jack was created by Snuffbomb and Jason the Toymaker was created by Kristantyl. Below is how I envision the characters to act. It’s not canon. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy and Happy Valentine’s Day season!*

In an abandoned carnival, far away from the eyes of humanity, was a decrepit little circus tent. And in that decrepit little circus were two very twisted and evil individuals.

One of the individuals was a young man with perfect porcelain features. He was wearing a Victorian era suit and a long fur coat. The man had shimmering brown eyes and a diamond painted on one of them. His hair was luscious and blood red. Perched atop his head was a small hat. He held a pretty golden haired doll in his hand and spoke animatedly to a clown.

The clown stood at 7’4. The man was by no means a midget, it was only that the clown was so incredibly tall.

The clown had long black hair and weatherly white skin. He was dressed in monochromic black and white. He wore suspenders and had matching fur atop his shoulders. The clown had macabre claws and an inhuman black and white pointed nose. When he opened, one could see the rows and rows of teeth.

The man was Jason the Toymaker and the clown was Laughing Jack the clown.

And Laughing Jack was smiling and pretending to care, like a good boyfriend would.

“She was screaming like crazy, but I was relentless! I kept on going at her. I wouldn’t stop, no matter what.”

“You told me this story before.”

“I know! But I’m just so proud of how I did it! It was all so flawless! Now I’ve got this gorgeous doll.”

“All of your dolls are gorgeous, dear.”

“Well yes, that’s true, but look at this one!”

Jason held out the doll towards Laughing Jack. He already shown him the doll months ago and they already had that conversation a million times, but he still peered down to look at it.

The doll was lovely. It had blond curls, a pale blue dress, bright white socks, and shiny black Mary Janes. It had piercing green eyes, just like Jason.

Children were better as dolls.

“Do you want it?” Jason asked.

Laughing Jack raised an eyebrow. Jason had never offered to give him any dolls. He was too proud of them to give them away.

So why was he offering him his most prized possession?

“What is your ulterior motive?”

“Nothing! I just thought that I should give it to you because I haven’t given you anything and it’s Valentine’s Day and-“

Laughing Jack rested a claw on his shoulder.

“Do you actually want to give this to me?”

“I..well..no.”

“Then why did you offer it to me?”

“I wanted to give you something because it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Okay? Valentine’s Day isn’t about giving people stuff. Besides, I didn’t get you anything.” Laughing Jack replied.

Jason jerked away from him, an offended expression on his face.

“You didn’t what?”

“Just wasn’t a priority of mine.”

“So I’m not a priority?”

“Nope! Murder is my only priority, as is yours.”

“Yes, but-“

A disembodied sneeze filled the air, stopping the two from their “conversation” if one could even call it that.

“Did you hear that?” Jason asked.

By golly, that was a stupid question.

“Of course I heard it, I’m in the same tent as you!” Laughing Jack snapped.

Both looked around them, searching for the source of the noise. They could not see a thing that was out of order. There were dolls, bleachers, circus gags, the knife-throwing wheel, and-

Shuffling. Behind a stack of boxes.

They walked closer to the boxes, suspension rising. If it was what they thought it was, then the day was getting much better than before.

The thing behind the boxes was breathing. They could hear it.

They finally got within two inches of the boxes. Jason reached over and took out the first box.

Standing behind the boxes was a little boy with scraggly brown hair, murky gray eyes, and faded blue pajamas.

“Hello there.” Laughing Jack said in his best “good clown who definitely doesn’t murder kids for fun” voice.

The boy’s eyes went wide, as if he were a deer caught in headlights.

“Would you like to stay with us?” Jason asked.

The boy darted towards the entrance flap, but Laughing Jack was quick.

He snatched the child.

……………………………………………………

“I FOUND HIM FIRST! I should be the one to handle him!” Jason yelled.

“No, it was ME! I’M the one who-“

“Why are you guys fighting?” The boy asked.

They turned to look at the little boy who was all tied up in a chair. They couldn’t decide who was allowed to kill him.

“We can’t decide who gets to kill you.” Jason said. There was no harm in telling him. He wouldn’t escape anyway.

The boy shifted in the chair.

“Why don’t you take turns? It’s what Mommy does for me and my sister.”

Huh. Taking turns could work.

“That’s genius!” Jason said.

“Wait, why are you helping? We’re going to murder you.” Laughing Jack asked.

The boy shrugged.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to do any schoolwork.”

“But you were scared-“

“Because you’re so ugly and-“

The two of them pounced on the child, ready to break apart the little brat.

Only Jason was allowed to call him ugly! Not disgusting little brats like that!

*Disclaimer: As far as I know, Laughing Jack has no official height. He’s just tall. I just imagine him to be 7’4. Also, Jason’s dolls are made of wax, not porcelain, according to the fandom website. If you google “Jason the Toymaker” his dolls look like they could be porcelain. That’s why I made them porcelain in the story.*


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235 Reviews

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Reviews: 235

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Fri Feb 10, 2023 8:47 pm
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4revgreen wrote a review...



Hey again!

I used to love creepypasta stories when I was younger so i was super excited when i saw mentions of Laughing Jack and Jason the Toymaker!

Positive Elements:

Characterization: The two main characters, Jason the Toymaker and Laughing Jack the Clown, are pretty well-developed and unique. Even though you didn't create their characters yourself, the way you wrote about their physical descriptions, personalities, and motivations are clear, making them stand out from the normal murderer/psychopath archetype.

Atmosphere: The abandoned carnival setting is creepy and eerie, creating an appropriate backdrop for the dark themes that take place in the story. The use of imagery, such as the "decrepit little circus tent," helps to set the creepy, eerie mood and draw the reader into the story whilst also getting them on the edge of their seat.

Suspense: The story builds tension effectively throughout, especially the introduction of the child and the moment where Laughing Jack grabs him. This keeps the reader engaged and on edge, and creates a sense of uncertainty about what is going to happen next.

Pacing: The story could benefit from a quicker pace. Some parts, such as the conversation between Jason and Laughing Jack about the dolls, drag on a little and could be trimmed to maintain the momentum of the story.

Dialogue: Some of the dialogue does feel a bit forced and unnatural, and I think it could be improved to better reflect the characters' personalities and motivations.

Resolution: The story ends abruptly and leaves the reader with questions about what happened to the child and what will happen next. A more concrete resolution or conclusion would make the story feel more complete and satisfying, but I understand leaving it where you did because maybe it would get too gory!

Overall:

I've mentioned it a lot that you should try get more descriptive paragraphs and this was an improvement on the other stories but my advice still stands.

Keep writing!




vampricone6783 says...


Spoiler alert:kiddo dies.

You liked Creepypasta? *insert excited screaming*



vampricone6783 says...


I have other Creepypasta fanfiction stuff too. I can name them for you if you%u2019d like to read them.



4revgreen says...


yeah i do still like creepypasta tbh! and i'd love to read them! i wrote a lot of fanction myself, years ago. none is posted on here but i can like the wattpad aha



vampricone6783 says...


I don%u2019t have Wattpad. :(

Here%u2019s the list:

1.Poor Amy%u2026
2.The amazing and stupendous Laughing Jack song!
3.C-L-O-W-N (All my friends play pretend)
4.Sally%u2019s Halloween
5.A most peculiar Christmas
6.And most recently, this.



4revgreen says...


no worries, i think you can read without an account! this is my re-write of the Jeff the killer story lol:
https://www.wattpad.com/372585606-jeff- ... hapter-one
I will take a look at all your stories!



vampricone6783 says...


I just read the chapter.

It%u2019s good. I like it. :)



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Wed Feb 08, 2023 4:28 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: I think this was quite nicely done here. It definitely manages to be both a very macabre tale while at the same time capturing the true essence of a valentine's day story just full of some very real angst there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In an abandoned carnival, far away from the eyes of humanity, was a decrepit little circus tent. And in that decrepit little circus were two very twisted and evil individuals.

One of the individuals was a young man with perfect porcelain features. He was wearing a Victorian era suit and a long fur coat. The man had shimmering green eyes and a diamond painted on one of them. His hair was luscious and blood red. Perched atop his head was a small hat. He held a pretty golden haired doll in his hand and spoke animatedly to a clown.

The clown stood at 7’4. The man was by no means a midget, it was only that the clown was so incredibly tall.


Well this is quite a nice start there. We've got ourselves quite a nice bit of atmosphere being set up for us there with the way that you've gone and constructed that setting there and it also showcases the two main characters pretty nicely too. Let's see where this takes us from here.

The clown had long black hair and weatherly white skin. He was dressed in monochromic black and white. He wore suspenders and had matching fur atop his shoulders. The clown had macabre claws and an inhuman black and white pointed nose. When he opened, one could see the rows and rows of teeth.

The man was Jason the Toymaker and the clown was Laughing Jack the clown.

And Laughing Jack was smiling and pretending to care, like a good boyfriend would.

“She was screaming like crazy, but I was relentless! I kept on going at her. I wouldn’t stop, no matter what.”

“You told me this story before.”

“I know! But I’m just so proud of how I did it! It was all so flawless! Now I’ve got this gorgeous doll.”


Well this is quite the move here. I love how startlingly similar to this is to how it would be any other sort of couple and how you establish that similarity right away except of course the topic being discussed there lets us know exactly what world we're dealing with there.

“All of your dolls are gorgeous, dear.”

“Well yes, that’s true, but look at this one!”

Jason held out the doll towards Laughing Jack. He already shown him the doll months ago and they already had that conversation a million times, but he still peered down to look at it.

The doll was lovely. It had blond curls, a pale blue dress, bright white socks, and shiny black Mary Janes. It had piercing green eyes, just like Jason.

Children were better as dolls.

“Do you want it?” Jason asked.

Laughing Jack raised an eyebrow. Jason had never offered to give him any dolls. He was too proud of them to give them away.


OOoooh this is something. As utterly horrifying as the idea is to have an actual child turned doll become a gift there's a very real sense of love and value in that gift too and if you look past the horror of exactly what's going on its almost sweet and I adore that duality you create so easily.

So why was he offering him his most prized possession?

“What is your ulterior motive?”

“Nothing! I just thought that I should give it to you because I haven’t given you anything and it’s Valentine’s Day and-“

Laughing Jack rested a claw on his shoulder.

“Do you actually want to give this to me?”

“I..well..no.”

“Then why did you offer it to me?”

“I wanted to give you something because it’s Valentine’s Day.”


Well that went from sweet to an entirely different really fast although once again that ends up making this only that much more powerfully realistic to a real sort of love scene of course once again if you ignore the ever present horror.

“Okay? Valentine’s Day isn’t about giving people stuff. Besides, I didn’t get you anything.” Laughing Jack replied.

Jason jerked away from him, an offended expression on his face.
.
“You didn’t what?”

“Just wasn’t a priority of mine.”

“So I’m not a priority?”

“Nope! Murder is my only priority, as is yours.”

“Yes, but-“

A disembodied sneeze filled the air, stopping the two from their “conversation” if one could even call it that.

“Did you hear that?” Jason asked.

By golly, that was a stupid question.

“Of course I heard it, I’m in the same tent as you!” Laughing Jack snapped.


Well that's another amazing move there. The sheer craziness of the most classic angst move you see when it comes to a couple playing out between even these two is both terrifying and hilarious at the same time and I honestly don't know how to feel in the best way.

Both looked around them, searching for the source of the noise. They could not see a thing that was out of order. There were dolls, bleachers, circus gags, the knife-throwing wheel, and-

Shuffling. Behind a stack of boxes.

They walked closer to the boxes, suspension rising. If it was what they thought it was, then the day was getting much better than before.

The thing behind the boxes was breathing. They could hear it.

They finally got within two inches of the boxes. Jason reached over and took out the first box.

Standing behind the boxes was a little boy with scraggly brown hair, murky gray eyes, and faded blue pajamas.

“Hello there.” Laughing Jack said in his best “good clown who definitely doesn’t murder kids for fun” voice.

The boy’s eyes went wide, as if he were a deer caught in headlights.

“Would you like to stay with us?” Jason asked.

The boy darted towards the entrance flap, but Laughing Jack was quick.

He snatched the child.


Oh nooo.... well that's not going to end well for the poor boy. That was definitely not what I was expecting but I love how that now continues the contrast of having such a normal sounding argument most couples could have to just straight up these two immediately thinking of murder.

“I FOUND HIM FIRST! I should be the one to handle him!” Jason yelled.

“No, it was ME! I’M the one who-“

“Why are you guys fighting?” The boy asked.

They turned to look at the little boy who was all tied up in a chair. They couldn’t decide who was allowed to kill him.

“We can’t decide who gets to kill you.” Jason said. There was no harm in telling him. He wouldn’t escape anyway.

The boy shifted in the chair.

“Why don’t you take turns? It’s what Mommy does for me and my sister.”

Huh. Taking turns could work.

“That’s genius!” Jason said.


Oh wow...that is... just wow honestly. The sheer shock factor of these two arguing over who gets to kill the boy only for the boy to actually weigh in there is just an incredibly powerful moment there.

“Wait, why are you helping? We’re going to murder you.” Laughing Jack asked.

The boy shrugged.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to do any schoolwork.”

“But you were scared-“

“Because you’re so ugly and-“

The two of them pounced on the child, ready to break apart the little brat.

Only Jason was allowed to call him ugly! Not disgusting little brats like that!


Well that's a horrifying place to end on although one that is very appropriate there given the characters we are dealing with and the type of story that we are going for in this moment. At any rate, its a fitting end.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a very strong piece right there. It does what it set out to really quite beautifully and I honestly love how you manage to balance these two aspects so strongly there and still do justice to both.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot stop Spring from coming.
— Pablo Neruda