Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

I think this does an amazing job of showcasing the horrors that Laughing Jack went through there and using said horrors to showcase just how he felt and how it drove him to this current point in time as a horrifying murderous clown.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

What am I? A clown? I don’t feel too happy, though. I suppose the children’s limp bodies in my claws help a little. They don’t deserve life anyway. They go about their days making clowns out of everybody because they think that they know better.

What are feelings anymore? Things that children are taught? Humans aren’t capable of feeling naturally, they have to learn to love and hate. I’m not a human, so I didn’t need to learn.

Oooh well we're starting things off with quite a deep introspection there by the looks of it. Definitely makes for a very intriguing opening there. Laughing Jack is really sitting down and thinking this one through here. Looking forward to seeing how this is going to go.

Did Isaac already learn feelings? No, he couldn’t have learned anything before me. When I came, he loved me. He really loved me.

It took me years, but I finally know the truth.

The world took away his feelings. Isaac went off and changed. He didn’t mean to forget me. I know that now. I’ve always known that. Even when the hatred was overflowing and boiling, I still loved him deep down. That’s how it is with true friends. You can never really hate them, no matter what happens

Oooh I see we're going right back to Jack's roots here and what made him so violent to begin with and really exploring deeply how his twisted practices came to be and why.

The other children were taught feelings. They had money and clothes, feelings didn’t come naturally to them. As time went by, everyone began to lose their feelings. Occupied with the temptations that the universe had to offer, feelings were fake. Artificial. Sterile.

The children don’t love me. None of them do. They love that I am a clown and that I make them laugh. They love that I have candy and break the rules. They love that I am magic, power, darkness, divine and above all, laughter.

Everything they are not and everything they wish to be.

Hmm that's quite the conclusion to come to. The fact that while it is very twisted and warped as a way to look at the world it has some basis in what actually can happen really makes it a chilling conclusion there.

Parents weep when I break their children’s skin, tear their bones, wash them in their own blood and tears. When I stick industrial nails into their soft, precious, gentle skin, expose their innards to the outside world.

They shouldn’t cry. They had it coming to them. They deserved it. They would have grown up and sought for the extraordinary, to amuse themselves. They would have been miserable vampires, hiding away at day and coming out at night for “social outings”. They would have had favorites among their groups of friends and lived about selfish, unfulfilling lives.

Well looks like that's the full root of everything that makes Laughing Jack, Laughing Jack right there. The pain and horror that is so powerfully etched into that is almost haunting in some sense even as it is horrifying to witness.

I’m not happy and I never will be again. I don’t want to be happy. True happiness is dead and gone, just like feelings and friendship. I still wear the costume. I still have the smile. But I am no clown.

I am lost. I am loneliness. I am spite. I am pain. I am wrath. I am resentment.

I’m Laughing Jack.

Ahh this is a haunting little ending here, really rubbing in just how powerfully things have gone down in that moment and how Laughing Jack fully understands who he is and what he has become. Its a very powerful ending!

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think you've done a great job. Laughing Jack's character gets more and more complex the more I learn about him through you and you can really see every moment that twisted him to the horror that he ends up being.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate

Hello Vampy! It's Serrurie, here to leave a review I haven't read this series of your left, so pardon me if I get a few things wrong)! Let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
- Immediately when I start reading this it has a very interesting concept. Usually in stories like 'IT' we are in the perspective of the prey of the clown, not the clown himself. So this had a very interesting start.
- Also immediately off the bat you come in with a very philosophical line:

What are feelings anymore? Things that children are taught? Humans aren’t capable of feeling naturally, they have to learn to love and hate.

- This is a very interesting take. I often think that love and hate are something humans naturally lean towards, but are often taught what they are allowed to love and allowed to hate. Children don't usually take on big opinions when it comes to two strong emotions like this, so I just think it was a bold and interesting choice to add this in.

- I see this story is about a morally grey character. Adding mixed emotions for the character Isaac adds a lot of depth to our MC.

Room For Improvement
- There's nothing I see you could improve with this. It has great pacing, great layers of emotions, and an overall intriguing MC. Great job! I will say though, since I'm not a fan of horror most of the time, it threw me off a little bit with the violent descriptions. But you were great at writing those, (I'm just sensitive).

Overall Opinion
- This was a very unique story that I think I'll continue reading. This character's introspection was very interesting.

Happy writing, and have a blessed day!

Serrurie