z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Crybaby and the clown-Carnival (Introduction)

by vampricone6783


*This is a crossover fanfic between two characters named Crybaby and Laughing Jack. Laughing Jack was created by Snuffbomb and is part of the Creepypasta fandom. Crybaby is the persona of singer-songwriter Melanie Martinez. I thought to myself one day “What if Laughing Jack was in Crybaby’s life?” Hence, the beginning of this series. This part of the story is based off the song “Carousel” by Melanie Martinez. I recommend watching Melanie Martinez music videos and googling “Crybaby Melanie Martinez” and “Laughing Jack” so you can know the lore of these characters. @4revgreen here is another Creepypasta fanfic if you are interested. I have Gacha Club character designs in my wall. Enjoy!*

Crybaby had been stuck on the carousel for who knew how long? She couldn’t get off, no matter how hard she tried.

Wouldn’t Alphabet boy help her? Surely, her boyfriend would save the day?

The two girls were laughing at her. Even the ringmaster was laughing!

No one came to help!

The cotton candy she ate earlier spewed out of her mouth as pink globs. The bright colors and the constant spinning was beginning to make her nauseous.

And those infamous tears were beginning to slide from her face again!

Why, why, why couldn’t she stop crying?

There he was! Alphabet boy! Holding more cotton candy in his hand! Maybe he could tell the guy to stop the ride! Maybe he would help! Maybe they could eat cotton candy together later!

Her tears stopped for a moment.

“Have fun, Crybaby.”

“What do you mean? What are you doing?”

He slid the pink treat in the coin slot machine.

Her face darkened.

He knew the machine and the carousel were connected.

He knew she would ride faster with them.

He trapped her in the carousel.

The inevitable tears were coming down faster now, as if drowning her entire face away. No one would help her. No one would save her.

Not even Alphabet boy.

The carnival was nothing more than a blur of colors now…

Then there was really nothing. Darkness. The entire place was shut down.

She felt hands untying the rope that kept her on the horse.

Crybaby looked up.

Her savior was a clown. A monochrome clown, with long black claws and striped arms.

Despite him being a clown, he didn’t look very happy. His eyes held a certain duskiness to them that would have frightened her if he weren’t the one saving her.

The ropes came undone.

She got off the horse and gawked at the clown. She couldn’t help it.

He looked so terrifying…so evil.

Yet he saved her.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“I-I-I’m sorry, but w-w-why did y-y-you s-s-s-save m-m-m-me?” She stuttered.

He smirked, but not in a mean way.

His claw was outstretched towards her hand.

She took it.

They walked off the carousel together.

He sighed.

“You looked like you needed help. I helped you.”

She sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her.

But she wouldn’t press him about it. She knew what it felt like. To pretend everything was fine when it was actually falling apart.

“Thank you! You’re so kind!” Crybaby smiled, thanking him instead.

No one had ever been nice to her like him, especially Alphabet boy. He liked to criticize and tease her. Come to think of it, she didn’t know why expected him to save her anyway.

The clown didn’t smile back.

“I’m no angel. If you knew me, you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“That’s okay. No one is perfect.”

He laughed.

“Oh, if only you knew.”

“Well, either way, I still like you.”

They entered the entrance gates of the carnival.

“What’s your name?”  Crybaby asked, for she felt like she ought to know his name.

“I’m Laughing Jack. Yours?”

“Crybaby.”

“Are you calling me a crybaby?”

“No. That’s my name. My name is Crybaby.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re one.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew me.”

“So I guess we both have secrets, eh?”

“Yeah.”

She smiled at him. He sure was wonderful!

Laughing Jack knelt down to his knee. He presented her with a cake pop. She couldn’t tell what flavor it was in the dark, but she liked it all the same.

“A chocolate cake pop for you, M’lady.”

“Thank you!”

She took it from his claw and was about to bite it, but then she looked at his lonely, sad eyes and…

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you.”

“Why?”

“Because you need one.”

He didn’t hug her back at first.

Then, she felt long arms embracing her.

“You can have my cake pop. You need it more than me.”

“No. I gave it to you. It’s yours.”

The lights turned back on.

Her strange monochrome friend disappeared.

“Hey Crybaby, why are you hugging the air?”

She lowered her arms to her sides.

“Where did you get that cake pop?”

“From a friend. He was here too.”

She bit into the treat. It was so lovely! It practically melted in her mouth!

Alphabet boy wrapped an arm around her waist as if nothing happened between them. As if he hadn’t left her behind on that carousel.

Maybe she’d see the clown again…



*Alphabet boy is the name of the blond boy in the “Carousel” music video. The two girls, the ringmaster, the cotton candy vomiting, they’re all in the music video. The difference is Laughing Jack getting involved.*


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar


Points: 425
Reviews: 3

Donate
Sat Apr 01, 2023 1:45 am
View Likes
JadaWalker wrote a review...



Hey! I came from the first chapter of this story.

First off, I just want to say that I am only one reader and these are only my own opinions. My word is not the authority. So, take what resonates and discard the rest.

I'll start with the compliments. I think the introduction does an excellent job of setting up the story. And the idea of taking a music video and turning it into a story is so inspired. The characters are also very intriguing.

Now, a bit of constructive criticism. I think that the story could benefit from some sensory details. Maybe describing the scenes from the video, adding an atmosphere.

Overall, I think this is a great introduction and companion to the first chapter of this story.




User avatar


Points: 425
Reviews: 3

Donate
Sat Apr 01, 2023 1:45 am
JadaWalker says...






User avatar
4377 Reviews

Points: 310223
Reviews: 4377

Donate
Tue Feb 28, 2023 4:01 pm
View Likes
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well its seems I've gone and stumbled on a rare wholesome story here. And I think this time we definitely hit upon one of the most wholesome duos we've seen so far even though technically there's wasn't even that much wholesomeness happening.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Crybaby had been stuck on the carousel for who knew how long? She couldn’t get off, no matter how hard she tried.

Wouldn’t Alphabet boy help her? Surely, her boyfriend would save the day?

The two girls were laughing at her. Even the ringmaster was laughing!

No one came to help!

The cotton candy she ate earlier spewed out of her mouth as pink globs. The bright colors and the constant spinning was beginning to make her nauseous.


Well this is quite the start here. Already we've got quite the predicament starting out there and it seems like its a pretty bad situation too. Well let's see where this is going. Given the title it looks like we're going to see either something horrible or something potentially wholesome play out.

And those infamous tears were beginning to slide from her face again!

Why, why, why couldn’t she stop crying?

There he was! Alphabet boy! Holding more cotton candy in his hand! Maybe he could tell the guy to stop the ride! Maybe he would help! Maybe they could eat cotton candy together later!

Her tears stopped for a moment.

“Have fun, Crybaby.”

“What do you mean? What are you doing?”

He slid the pink treat in the coin slot machine.


Oh dear...well that does not look like something a boyfriend is meant to be doing. It seems we're witnessing a bit of a betrayal going on there and hmm that is making me wonder if this later promised encounter is going to end up being something a bit more simple and potentially wholesome.

Her face darkened.

He knew the machine and the carousel were connected.

He knew she would ride faster with them.

He trapped her in the carousel.

The inevitable tears were coming down faster now, as if drowning her entire face away. No one would help her. No one would save her.

Not even Alphabet boy.

The carnival was nothing more than a blur of colors now…


Well you can definitely feel that realization and despair setting in at that moment. I think as usual you do a pretty good job of managing to get us feeling for that person even though we've barely known them.

Then there was really nothing. Darkness. The entire place was shut down.

She felt hands untying the rope that kept her on the horse.

Crybaby looked up.

Her savior was a clown. A monochrome clown, with long black claws and striped arms.

Despite him being a clown, he didn’t look very happy. His eyes held a certain duskiness to them that would have frightened her if he weren’t the one saving her.

The ropes came undone.


Ooooh....well this is quite the introduction here. I love how its very clear already we're not seeing this person as hero exactly but someone who is clearly got something of a darker being that seems to have done something a bit inexplicable and saved this poor person.

She got off the horse and gawked at the clown. She couldn’t help it.

He looked so terrifying…so evil.

Yet he saved her.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“I-I-I’m sorry, but w-w-why did y-y-you s-s-s-save m-m-m-me?” She stuttered.

He smirked, but not in a mean way.

His claw was outstretched towards her hand.

She took it.


Well this is an oddly wholesome duo there. The clear contrast of a very evil look and an oddly sort of matter of fact delivery by our scary clown person but still there being just a general wholesome nature to the whole thing.

They walked off the carousel together.

He sighed.

“You looked like you needed help. I helped you.”

She sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her.

But she wouldn’t press him about it. She knew what it felt like. To pretend everything was fine when it was actually falling apart.

“Thank you! You’re so kind!” Crybaby smiled, thanking him instead.


Well that was quite a factual response there. I'm loving the way you're portraying this little duo here. Crybaby clearly afraid to poke too far but definitely noticing there's more to this clown that meets the eye.

No one had ever been nice to her like him, especially Alphabet boy. He liked to criticize and tease her. Come to think of it, she didn’t know why expected him to save her anyway.

The clown didn’t smile back.

“I’m no angel. If you knew me, you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“That’s okay. No one is perfect.”

He laughed.

“Oh, if only you knew.”

“Well, either way, I still like you.”


That's a lovely little conversation. Its very tiny but it definitely tells us quite a bit there in terms of exactly what sort of mood our clown here happens to be in and how Crybaby despite all of that seems to just look past it all and search for something more wholesome.

They entered the entrance gates of the carnival.

“What’s your name?” Crybaby asked, for she felt like she ought to know his name.

“I’m Laughing Jack. Yours?”

“Crybaby.”

“Are you calling me a crybaby?”

“No. That’s my name. My name is Crybaby.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re one.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew me.”

“So I guess we both have secrets, eh?”


AHHH I love the little duality there with the secrets. That made me break out in far too large of a smile with how sweet that was. Once again I have to say this duo that you've created is truly amazing.

“Yeah.”

She smiled at him. He sure was wonderful!

Laughing Jack knelt down to his knee. He presented her with a cake pop. She couldn’t tell what flavor it was in the dark, but she liked it all the same.

“A chocolate cake pop for you, M’lady.”

“Thank you!”

She took it from his claw and was about to bite it, but then she looked at his lonely, sad eyes and…

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you.”


Ahhh the sweetness in that moment is just beautiful. Out of all the wholesome stories I've read from you, this little duo just might be my favorite. There's just something amazing about someone terrifying being subjected to cuteness like this that achieves an entirely different level of wholesomeness.

“Why?”

“Because you need one.”

He didn’t hug her back at first.

Then, she felt long arms embracing her.

“You can have my cake pop. You need it more than me.”

“No. I gave it to you. It’s yours.”

The lights turned back on.

Her strange monochrome friend disappeared.


Well that was an interesting end to that. I love that he did manage to return the hug before inevitable it seems he had to disappear. That was just a lovely way to bring that situation to an end. And mysterious too of course.

“Hey Crybaby, why are you hugging the air?”

She lowered her arms to her sides.

“Where did you get that cake pop?”

“From a friend. He was here too.”

She bit into the treat. It was so lovely! It practically melted in her mouth!

Alphabet boy wrapped an arm around her waist as if nothing happened between them. As if he hadn’t left her behind on that carousel.

Maybe she’d see the clown again…


Well that's quite the ending. I wonder what'll happen to Alphabet Boy. It seems he's been just ignore in favor of Crybaby simply wanting to think on the clown and the chances of meeting again.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think a pretty fun little piece here. It was very much enjoyable to read and I honestly now want to see more of this duo because it really seems like it would be incredibly cute.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
— Emily Dickenson