Young Writers Society

Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I will apologize that this might be a short review. However, I hope that this can be useful in some way even if it just brightens your day. With all that being said, I should probably stop rambling and start the review properly. Let's get into it, shall we?

Overall this was a short but interesting read. This was a good follow-up to the last one I read, we get a bit more insight here. By the looks of it, this obsession is teetering into very dark places and things might take a turn soon. You do a good job showing reasons why Nina would be isolated from her peers.

I am curious how long Nina's dreams and fantasies will stay this way. Knowing your work, however, it will be only a matter of time before her wants turn into some tragic actions.

Now let's get into the feedback, I promise it won't be much. As always you don't have to take any input I give nor I am a professional.

I do wish you added in a bit more detail about her family since it can show off a lot more of the dynamic. Perhaps you could have some passing dinner conversation that Nina's trying to ignore. Sometimes the lack of conversation could also speak strongly to what's like between them. ( No pun intended.)

Lastly, this one might be a bit nitpicky but I thought I would add it in just to be safe.

But she had to do it for the sake of family.

Although there isn't anything too glaring with this sentence I feel it's missing a word here. I do feel this could be just me but I would write it like this.

But she had to do it for the sake of her family.

Regardless this was short but allowed us to have much more insight into her fixation. As Always keep writing and remember to drink water!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Nina didn’t really want to eat her dinner. She wanted to go back to reading about Jeff the killer’s glorious and murderous adventures.

But she had to do it for the sake of family.

As she cut apart her steak, she imagined that it was the meat of some unworthy individual, someone Jeff would kill.

If she had the guts like Jeff did, then she would have killed all of those people that made fun of her for wearing glittery cat ears and liking “My Little Pony”. She would have shown them the true extent of her power.

Oooh well this is an interesting point to reflect on here. Nina here looks like she is really trying her best to not give into the murderous urges but at this point its only because of her family and because she doesn't feel quite brave enough. She definitely is in quite a dangerous mindset there. Wanting to take out your bullies is a relatable feeling but the image there with the steak and how much she wants to emulate Jeff the Killer and those brutal methods is a bit further along than the simple anger you can feel about bullies.

But Nina didn’t have any power. She was just Nina Hopkins, the girl with bad eyeliner who was Jeff the killer’s #1 fangirl.

She could be more, though. She could be Jeff’s proxy. Maybe one day, Jeff would think that she was worthy. Maybe one day, he would make her his proxy.

Nina smiled as she ate. It was an absurdly impossible thing, but it wasn’t completely out of the question.

Well there comes Nina's true intentions and dream there. She wants to go a bit beyond just being a fan girl and actually joining Jeff. That does align well with her being quite so tempted to murder. In some ways her saying that it was an impossible hope is a good thing there because she herself knows how she's not that far gone, but at the same time you get the feeling she is willing to do the impossible and go that far for Jeff so she is already too far gone to not become a killer.

Overall for a piece this short, it really has you diving deep and thinking on the state of Nina's mind and desires and what might happen to her as we continue on.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate