reminisce or something

by Firestarter

Published December 20, 2005

In Old awful stuff

Comments & reviews · 6
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Snoink
Comment
Snoink commented Comment · Dec 22, 2005

Yeah... even I liked it. ;)

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Crysi
Review
Crysi wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2005

Lovely, Jack, as always.

Ooh! Ooh! I have a criticism! Lol. Minor thing, really:

of your lips seems timeless in the infinite mornings
we spent lying-in (each other's embrace) and eversweet -


When I was reading the poem, I barely noticed the linebreaks because it flowed so well. However, because the first line in this part could end a complete thought, it caught me off guard when the thought continued... It broke the flow for me because I had to understand that there was more to it.

Other than that, I absolutely love this poem. The imagery is fresh and unique, which is something I've always liked about your poetry. Good job.

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Chanson
Comment
Chanson commented Comment · Dec 21, 2005

i miss poetry like this. there isn't enough of it around any more. all the pretty images and words...a relief to read.

i liked it. and i really liked the last verse.

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Elephant
Review
Elephant wrote a review Review · Dec 21, 2005

I agree with Chevy, that the imagery was cloudy, but in a way, like a cloudy day gave it an interesting light. I especially liked the second stanza.

Aromas of jekyllhyde are engrained stubbornly
in the sleeves of my jackets; the green stains
on my trousers don't come out in the wash.


ooo...great imagery there.

cheers EL.

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Chevy
Comment
Chevy commented Comment · Dec 21, 2005

I kind of liked this, but the imagery was a bit strange and made the poem kind of cloudy. However, I got the concept...very important thing and the title reminded me of Brad for some reason. weird.

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Sophie
Review
Sophie wrote a review Review · Dec 20, 2005

Aw this is really sweet. It's just.... *wants good word*. The second stanza I especially like, how the memories are stuck in the clothes, and the "can't remember whether we argued or kissed...", and the "split mirror images" - that bit esp. Overall it sounds quite personal, but it basically fits anyone, it's easy to understand.
Damn it, can't think of bad thing... What a great crit! Basically it's good!



Stop being mean to your self-insert character, you're just being mean to yourself.
— WeepingWisteria