Young Writers Society

Yeah... even I liked it.

Lovely, Jack, as always.

Ooh! Ooh! I have a criticism! Lol. Minor thing, really:

of your lips seems timeless in the infinite mornings
we spent lying-in (each other's embrace) and eversweet -

i miss poetry like this. there isn't enough of it around any more. all the pretty images and words...a relief to read.

i liked it. and i really liked the last verse.

I agree with Chevy, that the imagery was cloudy, but in a way, like a cloudy day gave it an interesting light. I especially liked the second stanza.

Aromas of jekyllhyde are engrained stubbornly
in the sleeves of my jackets; the green stains
on my trousers don't come out in the wash.

I kind of liked this, but the imagery was a bit strange and made the poem kind of cloudy. However, I got the concept...very important thing and the title reminded me of Brad for some reason. weird.

Aw this is really sweet. It's just.... *wants good word*. The second stanza I especially like, how the memories are stuck in the clothes, and the "can't remember whether we argued or kissed...", and the "split mirror images" - that bit esp. Overall it sounds quite personal, but it basically fits anyone, it's easy to understand.
Damn it, can't think of bad thing... What a great crit! Basically it's good!