Only two problems:

"i'll never, ever forget."

Would sound better and more meaningful without the "ever."

And:

"oh so dark "

Should be totally omitted, unless you really want to come off as an emo kid who relied on the Pathetic Fallacy.

Anyway, I was breathtaken with this poem, excepting those two things aforementioned; you've got a real talent here, exploit it.

all i manage to create
is a bucketful of meaningless e-mails
that infect your inbox
and limit our decaying relationship
to nothing more than a few lines
on an instant messenger window.

I really like that part, it really seems cool and puts a 'blue' essence on your poem (blue like picasso's blue paintings, i think).

Thanks for all your comments, appreciated.

wow, i like this. i love the first line, it pulle dme in and forced me to read. nice imagery describing relationship with computer and love.

Love this line:
the defiant swirl of a cable
reminiscent of those brunette curls

wow that a perfect vivd imagery of the gril, or a girl for that matter.

lovely, keep up the good work

Interesting imagery, the whole internet love thing. Very 'in' at the moment with all these people falling in love with a font, so to speak. The way you bring the computer to life is intriguing.

wohey loved it truely did, your poerty freakishly describes my life a little to well

the soft sound of a computer dying
made me think of you. ----> An amazing start to the poem, instantly made me want to read on.

the defiant swirl of a cable
reminiscent of those brunette curls
the smooth slide of a digital mouse
like your conversational ease
the satisfying harmony
of an ejected drive,
echoes of that sweet night
i'll never, ever forget.

I love the way you compare her to the computer! in this stanza especially ::
the defiant swirl of a cable
reminiscent of those brunette curls


Relating more than you know to this stanza espeically the first three lines!!

all i manage to create
is a bucketful of meaningless e-mails
that infect your inbox
and limit our decaying relationship
to nothing more than a few lines
on an instant messenger window.

my only beacon of light
flashing on this dark,
oh so dark
monday afternoon.

And you finish with a lovely ending

really have nothing bad to say about this sorry not very helpful I know!!