Young Writers Society

I agree with Matt. It did have a lot of depth to it and a lot to take in.

The only thing:

"you're too scared to be impulsive, too afraid to let go of
the pointless traditions and superstitions you hold on to"

I thought the "of" in the first line seemed a little out of place. But I guess it has to be there. I don't know how you could possibly change it.

Ooh, this is good. Very well written, and there's a lot going on in it...lots to take in. It's good, it has depth. Plus, I liked the way you put "you just couldn't do that." as a line on its own. Seems to make the statement important, and stand out from other stanzas. Like saying "this is basically what I'm trying to tell you in this poem. This is what you need to know, you just couldn't do that."

Heh, well done Jack.