One word: woah.
Very well done, my friend.
z
my god, thanks so much!
it's so me, you actuall;y listened to everything i've said to you and turned it in to something amazing in that way that only you can; i love it
you've made my... evening, i guess; i'm all smiling and fizzy
=D>
(Tit for Tet, right?)
This poem was, in one word, excellent. In that same breath, excellence does not mean "perfection." The only flaw with this poem to me, a simply layman, was that it was over-the-top with imagery. Imagery is good, but it should not comprise the poem: poetry is the exercise of genius within a fixed form. My suggestion is that where you have imagery all lumped up (for instance, the whole of the last stanza), get rid of some of it and change it to metaphors or some impacting resonation in the reader's mind.
Oh, and don't change the fourth stanza, okay? Don't.
One of my favorites I've read on this site. Thanks for posting.
I love it...the conversion from melancholy, sad slight-depression to...love. MMmmmmyeah. Thanks, it is an excellent piece.
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