for harley

by Firestarter

Published June 28, 2005

In Old awful stuff

Comments & reviews · 8
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Sam
Comment
Sam commented Comment · Jul 5, 2005

One word: woah.

Very well done, my friend.

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Harley
Comment
Harley commented Comment · Jul 4, 2005

my god, thanks so much!

it's so me, you actuall;y listened to everything i've said to you and turned it in to something amazing in that way that only you can; i love it

you've made my... evening, i guess; i'm all smiling and fizzy

=D>

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Crysi
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Crysi commented Comment · Jun 30, 2005

*smiles* This is really, really good. I like it. A lot. :D

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Incandescence
Review
Incandescence wrote a review Review · Jun 30, 2005

(Tit for Tet, right?)

This poem was, in one word, excellent. In that same breath, excellence does not mean "perfection." The only flaw with this poem to me, a simply layman, was that it was over-the-top with imagery. Imagery is good, but it should not comprise the poem: poetry is the exercise of genius within a fixed form. My suggestion is that where you have imagery all lumped up (for instance, the whole of the last stanza), get rid of some of it and change it to metaphors or some impacting resonation in the reader's mind.

Oh, and don't change the fourth stanza, okay? Don't.

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Sgt.Pepper
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Sgt.Pepper commented Comment · Jun 30, 2005

One of my favorites I've read on this site. Thanks for posting.

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PsyLynx
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PsyLynx commented Comment · Jun 30, 2005

I love it...the conversion from melancholy, sad slight-depression to...love. MMmmmmyeah. Thanks, it is an excellent piece.

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Emma
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Emma commented Comment · Jun 28, 2005

That is really good. I know Harley will like it.

:)



Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)