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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Do I even have to say anything? You know I loved it. How could I not?
Is unmissable a word? Heh, it kind of distracted me because I was wondering if it was or not. Anyway... I liked it. It was really... cool... Couldn't really find a better word.
I think you did have fun writing this.. at least I hope so (judging from the way it reads, until part of the last stanza.. almost grimly optomistic).
Now. third line, first stanza. what the heck? ok, I'm not a huge fan of this effect, so I'm rather biased against it, and I'll leave it at that. 4th line, commas. the effect works, but I think commas are a clunky way to do it. also, lack of pronouns in that line was a bit confusing, but I won't harp on that. "turn interactive"? ok.. aside the fact it sounds plain wrong (intentional, maybe?), the metaphor, at least what i gather of it, is a bit of a strange one as presented in this stanza.. and.. oh, doi. never mind my comment about lack of pronouns. it works quite well (now, how did I not see that before is the question, if you even ment it that way..like talking is asteriks).
second stanza lost me a bit. mostly the way you tied the first line in with the previous stanza, while I usually like this if done well, and it started out well, it ends up sounds clunky to me.
last stanza I rather like. once I got past the wording, that is. fisrt few lines sound wordy, but I think that's more style now, than anything. third and fourth lines..i don't know. found them rather omnious, truth be told. last three lines.. yeah.
Ooh money!
From the British station you can get here... but you have to pay....
I miss My Hero... Anyway...
Yeah this was great!
I liked all of it.
And I'm tired...
So we're all happy in the end.
Paid? LOL i think you enjoyed writing it.... Anyways, i liked this part:
You are the show, the show is unmissable
and if you like it, it will run for several months
until a cliched cliffhanger where somebody cries
and somebody almost dies. But the lights will
carry on dancing and the actors will play their parts
in this dark theatre of everlasting lust.