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140,910 Literary Works • 673,729 Reviews
it was good but i really didn't understand it what is it saposed to be about?
I thought that it was a nicely done, and yes the "there is more to life" theme is not original, but neither are love poems. What marks a piece are the lines and words used, and here I thought you did an excellent job. The second stanza, though, is disjointed, but the rest are well done. I particularly like the second stanza; grabs one's attention.
Nice and eartheral, good work!
I really like this, I unterstood it too. You had very good imagry in here. I like "follow the yellow brick road
so-coloured from late night urinating"
Heee
The whole second stanza had very good imagry, it was my favorite part of the poem.
One thing: second stanza, second to last line, take out a 'it'.
I rarely comment on your works because of your lack of comments on mine. However, I feel this may be a mutual idea. So...
This was not as majestic as some of your others, and it would have been original had we been living in the 80s, or before everyone heard "Californication" by the Red Hot Chillipeppers. Still, there is a solid meaning to be found this piece: there is more to life than fame. Not very original, and neither was the piece as a whole; you did, however, have some very interesting concepts and imagery that I would save and use at a later date, with a stronger, more focal piece.
Basically, this is good for someone who hasn't seen primadonnas fall to the earth like rock doves. And props to you for pulling that off, but I guess I'm looking for something a little deeper, a little darker, and a little stronger from someone I perhaps know too well.
I liked it, very nice imagery in this.
cheers CL
I think perhaps the title can make up for the poem.
Hah.
Love the title...don't get the poem...w00t
Hm... I think I get this and I have to say that I liked most of it.
You had some very good images in the first few stanzas and I really liked those, but I did not like the last stanza. I think you should end it with something similar to the stanza before it.
I did like this though. Good Job!
I think I know what you're getting at here..."and my eyes are blue not green"
lovely image, I must say.
The rest seems a bit disjointed, but it's not, not really. As usual, I don't know how you write so well.
You are a very odd human being. I like that in a person.
*looks at strange-tasting cookie for answer*
Okaaaaaaaaaay. What the heck were you thinking when you wrote this?