Hey sup!Okay I liked how you said it was like one of those days, then his girlfriend I guess calls, that was good, we all have that. Although when they were on the phone I couldn't tell who was who, and I thought Nat was a guy, so that was kind of confusing~ Good writing
Technically this should be called "Phone Call" because there's only one call . I liked reading this except from the potty language at the end. Just kidding lol. I agree with Willow, a little back up info would be greatly appreciated.
My eyes were already beginning to flicker up and down, and my wrist felt like it was strapped to a particularly heavy rock.
Your start is good, but I kinda lost it with the call. Some background info would also be nice. Otherwise, it sounds as though it's up to a good start.
114,290 Literary Works • 616,276 Reviews