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Young Writers Society



Wayward Poise

by Firestarter



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145 Reviews


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Wed May 09, 2007 8:45 pm
Skye says...



I figured you had a good reason -- again, it was a very enjoyable read. :)




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Wed May 09, 2007 4:39 pm
Firestarter says...



The change in format is supposed to follow the ideas presented in the poem -- ie. attracted by something different. Sorry if this isn't clear.

Thanks for the helpful words, Skye :)




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Tue May 08, 2007 10:31 pm
Skye wrote a review...



Sweet stuff! One note on the formatting: you could try changing the font color on the ellipses to white, that way they're not so glaringly apparent. :)

I love the rhyming in the first stanza -- in fact, it is sheer perfection.

I got a bit confused when reading the second stanza, though I cleared it up on the second or third read-through. It seems to just be a lack of punctuation -- a comma after "wet" should clarify things nicely, yeah? Looking through once again, the second stanza is also in a different format than the rest of the poem. I have to admit that it's throwing me off a little bit; is there any way to preserve the continuity? Whatever you do, you must keep L1 for that pretty little pun.

I enjoyed this poem immensely, Jack. They're definitely sentiments that any writer will share.

Nice work, and until next time,
Skye




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Tue May 08, 2007 10:13 pm
Firestarter says...



Thanks for the comments!




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Tue May 08, 2007 6:41 pm
RatchetWriter wrote a review...



I have a few comments, but sadly I know nothing about poetry. :(

I really like the pauses in the poem, it gives it a real good pace.

The first section is great cause' story and glory go great together.

The best part though is:

.....The pen is wet yet inspiration
.....Is as lost as his destination

This just sounds SO good. :)

Hopefully someone who knows about poetry can help more though :D





Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
— C. Northcote Parkinson