Napoleonic Fiction (untitled)

I loved it! It was amazing; just, like, wow. I think the date is a good thing, because I've only done four months of history this year, and three last year, and we've done NOTHING on napoleon and stuff. I can tell you the time period and that's about it. I think the portugese guy would understand "...hard as buggery" because i've been there, and they understand lots of common slang phrases as well as standard English, but maybe I'm wrong, cuz the time period is different. Right, well I'm away to read part, two. Great job, jack.

'it’s partner on the opposite side'

that's the only thing i caught. 'Its'. Oh, and...

"...hard as buggery" and then the portuguese guy laughs. I'm not really sure about European culture, but he proboably wouldn't laugh at something. US/British culture is pretty much the same, but I wouldn't know what the heck you said. So, a Portuguese guy wouldn't get it much, either.

yay!

(another example of trying to get points heehee)

*sigh* Maybe I will. Its just I dunno...I don't like starting new posts. It makes me look like I'm trying to get points or something. But I will, just for you.

hey, Jack, could you start a new post sometime? It's kind of a hassle when you just have to look somthing up in a hurry to critique on and you have to back up quite a ways. I'll critique in a moment...hang on...

New update again!

Thanks everyone for reading, by the way, I appreciate it.

The update is pretty good...not much else to say besides that.

I read it, still nothing that needs fixing, apart from the black hair thing.

Thanks for spotting them. By the way, I meant "black hair", but I have this habit of missing words.

There's another update now, if anybody cares.

similarly not wanted.

One was tall and dark, his black was wet with the rain previously in the evening

They're stationed in a town. I'll try and make that clearer. Thanks for the heads up. AQctually funnily enough, in the next bit I haven't posted yet it has a bit about the army being in Obidos, which is a small village/town.

Alcohol rations...well, yes, the lower ranks would. However he's an officer and as such has access to the Officer's Mess, which would have plenty of available alcohol. Although, it's doubtful he'd had enough money to pay for it.

I just realized this now...but wouldn't they have an alcohol ration? Unless they are stationed in a town or something, these soldiers probably would not be allowed enough alcohol to get intoxicated. So, either fix that bit or describe your setting a bit more.

Updated it.

Don't worry Brad, thats the only date thats going to be there, basically. It would just be right at the start of the story just to tell readers what the exact date was without having to mix it into the story somehow.

And Sam, don't worry. You'll be able to pick at historical stuff if you want. It won't be hard. I'll probably make a lot of mistakes so I need someone to pick them out!

16th August, 1808

I'm not a moron. I know when Napoleon was around. I think you did such a great job with the actual story part of this that you don't need to tell us the time frame. Readers should be able to figure that out on their own. Er...that's a personal preference, but it irks me when people do things like that, i.e. showing us the Eiffel Tower and then saying, "Paris, France." Well, whatever. Anyway, that aside, this was very well written. You've almost got a Neil Gaiman-esque thing going.

*yussss*

I am not the only georgian/napoleonic freak, now, am I? lol I don't know anything about the Worchestire regiment, so I wouldn't be able to pick at all the little historical details...*pouts* You take all the fun out of everything!!!

Thanks.

Yeh, Misty, I do only really go for opinions. I don't really need help with my story, only really editing for mistakes.

Chanosn, yeh the ending isn't strong, because its only a short excerpt.

earlflint, I have done a little research, only on the regiment though, most of what has been said I know already from my own enjoyment and knowledge. I'm hoping it will turn into a novella or short story based on the fortunes on the 29th foot in the Peninsular War, that being the Battle of Rolica, Vimiero, Talavera, Albuera, Nive, Nivelles, Orthez and Toulouse (although the last four were technically in France, no the Peninuslar).

I have plenty of ideas for the story. Generally this will turn into a short exchnage between irritated Portugese civilians who think the Lieutenant is responsible for stealing some of their produce, and capture him and beat him. However, with the help pf his men, he escapes and kills his first man, therefore freeing himself of the said "virginity" in soldiering. He is then prepared for the Battle of Rolica the nest day when General Arthur Wellesley fought the French, where the 29th foot under Lieutenent-Colonel Lake stormed up the hill too rashly and was caught under a french brigade and suffered many casualties, including Lake dying and many officers captured. They were saved by the 9th foot. The background is that Henderson will be one of the few officers left in the 29th to order them around, and helps secure the hill for Wellington, who later praises Henderson and he becomes commander of a Company for the Battle of Vimiero four days later, which will also be in the novel.

You certainly seem to have done your research. Thats always a good sign. What kind of direction do you think your story will go in? do you have any other ideas? or is this just an idea-short?

yeah, i liked it. i loved the characterization. i was so sad for the girl, though, but that is only because i am a crazy feminist. or so my algebra teacher tells me.

excellent start, the first paragraph was very good.

weak ending, but I'm guessing that is because this is an ongoing thing so I suppose the ending doesn't really matter anyway.

you don't really need help with this...you just like opinions, right? That's what I do with most of my stories, just post them to get opinions, because I don't really need help, I'm fine on my own. My opinion is that this is amazing, and er...it pulls me in. I wish I had a nitpick, but I don't. It's really REALLY good.

Ok, it's a great story so far, now i just need to find something i can fix. Hmm, can't find anything that can be fixed, needs to be read by someone with a sharper eye for these things than me.