The Direction of The Tide

Describe his hair. That'll shock people (since guys don't tend to do the hair thing...).

JigSaw - thanks. I'll change the stuff you picked out.

Sammas - Yeh that description does seem to pop up a lot! Any suggestions? I wanted to introduce him without simply starting with the dialogue, and that seemed an okay pre-speech thing. I don't know what else I could say, so some help would be appreciated. Thanks for looking at it!

SEE?

This would be an appropriate time for an: I told you so!

Or not. It was a pretty good discussion anyway.

'A broad-chested tall man appeared beside him.'

I see a trend beginning...it is a trend in where you use this same description in every single one of your stories...and where it doesn't help the story at all and is rather tacky....but it could just be me.

'“I’m not a great man with words. '

He seems pretty good with 'em to me, so I'd make his overall tone a little gruffer. THINK LUMBERJACK! (Well, maybe not that extreme but you get the idea.)

The ending was really simple and would have completely stunk on its own, but you really pulled it off. Good job.

Well...that's all I've got to say.

Wow. That was one of the best written stories I've read on this site. Truly an exceptional piece.
Some suggestions though:

the adventure might do him so good

“Do dreams ever come true, Ollus? Or do they just fall and drown in the sea of wrong actions like I could fall off this cliff with one wrong turn?” Rhimari said sadly, looking out upon the great ocean that spread before them.