Ohh, and Jack [especially if your readers are history geeks and are up on 18th century slang], the Half-Cocked Boy could be interpreted maaaaany different ways.
Ohh, and Jack [especially if your readers are history geeks and are up on 18th century slang], the Half-Cocked Boy could be interpreted maaaaany different ways.
Cool. I was bit confused at first, but once I got a feel for the speech this was a good read 
.
The detective work was interessting to read and paced well.
My only real complaint is that the victim's name is Joe. Simply because the name is similiar to Jeremy, which confussed me, so that I thought that it was the carriage that was attacked and that Jeremy (who, at that point, I thought was called Joe) was dead.
If... that makes any sense to you...
Ah, very nice. One thing irked me though:
'Captain McKenna rolled the body over with his foot and stared down at the clean cut on the man’s throat. “He’s good,” McKenna murmured to his compatriot, “Very good.”
The other man grunted in reluctant agreement. “We’ll still catch him either way. No one has ever escaped us yet.”
McKenna crouched down to the immobile figure, and inspected the cut across his throat.;'
As you can see, you use the phrase 'the cut across the throat' twice. It's rather clunky, so change it...
Other than that, pretty cool!
hmm.. trust us to help you, eh? *shakes head* if you say so :p
Now, for my comments, concerns, complaints, and all other of the like.
. “And why, pray tell, do you think I should take this child with me on my journeys?”
120,199 Literary Works • 649,054 Reviews
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Donate