Let Go

by Firestarter

Published January 8, 2005

In Old awful stuff

Comments & reviews · 6
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Chevy
Review
Chevy wrote a review Review · Jan 14, 2005

the hideous battle going on below

is you.


I think "is you" should probably be at the bottom of the previous stanza. Also, the one thing this poem lacked were commas and semi colons. It is so hard to read poems like this that don't have them. I mean, seriously. However, I agree with nickel pickle. It was short and did keep your interest. Just add some commas...

Lingering_Shadow commented Comment · Jan 14, 2005

Loved it. The rhythm was steady and it all flowed well. Though in the second stanza I think punctuation of some sorts might do nicely, it's a bit of a mouthful.

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nickelpickle
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nickelpickle commented Comment · Jan 12, 2005

I really love your poetry! This was shorter, so it kept my interest and I raelly liked it... Srry, no criticism..

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Firestarter
Comment
Firestarter commented Comment · Jan 11, 2005

Thanks.

I'll remove the 'whole'.

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Sam
Review
Sam wrote a review Review · Jan 8, 2005

again, firestarter, you're a great poet! I love the way, at the end of the second stanza, you stop and then finish the sentence at the beginning of the third...don't know why, it's just cool that way. :D I don't care how many poems you post, 'cause I'll read them all and think they're great...

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Wulie
Review
Wulie wrote a review Review · Jan 8, 2005

Yet asgain I love this - I do like your poems alot!!!

My only saviour
holding the key to this whole
terrifying experience
bathed in celestial light
and floating nonchalantly above
the hideous battle going on below


I feel that you don't the the 'Whole' in the second line but thats my opionin.

otherwise as I say love it...
muchous love wu



Sometimes my life just sounds like surrealistic fiction being sold on clearance at the book store.
— J. G. Hammersmith