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no regrets, darling

by Firestarter



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Sat Sep 29, 2007 2:15 am
Bella says...



I liked this a lot. It seemed like something I'd heard repeatedly, but you actually did it in a way that sparked my interest and made me want to read it. Bravo to you! I can relate too, which made it even mroe fun to read.

Merry Writing
Bells




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Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:06 am
Firestarter says...



Seriously, my old poetry should be banned from getting necromanced.




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Tue Sep 25, 2007 10:02 pm
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Jasmine Hart wrote a review...



This was very different to the other poem I read by you, the name of which I can't remember right now...
I know it's very straight forward, but I think that's what makes it so powerful.I could really feel this. I loved the use of the word "darling". I think it created a sort of tenderness which contrasted strikingly with the bluntness of the rest of the poem. It was really interesting in that it felt raw, but it just flowed so well. The short stanzas are really effective, and I loved how you isolated "One day you'll stop", as it really increased its impact.




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Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:51 am
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whence wrote a review...



whoa, random bump much?

But really, Jack, this isn't your best. You didn't express anything new or vivid here; and I for one felt nothing.

But I've seen better pieces that are more recent then this, so I'm not too concerned ;)

~Ed




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Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:04 pm
Rydia wrote a review...



I thought that this was well written and I liked the irregular rhyme in the middle -

When I look into
those fiery eyes
I know you
slowly realise

but not at the end. It doesn't make such a great impact there. Perhaps if the lines with the rhymes were more than one word long it would work better but as it stands, it sounds a bit forced and unecessary.

Other than that though, your imagery is good and you convey the emotions involved well so good job. Very easy to relate to as well. Keep up the good work,

Heather xx




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Tue Jul 10, 2007 3:52 pm
Twit says...



Romantic poetry? Not my fav by a long shot, but this seemed alright. :)




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Tue Jul 10, 2007 3:35 pm
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gyrfalcon wrote a review...



Very much enjoyed it, darling--it put words to a lot of things that I've felt and been told over the years. You captured the mood, the...sense of it perfectly. Only one small complaint (because this is what everone says about my poetry)--it could do with a tad more punctuation. Your line breaks are very good at telling us when to pause, but I couldn't stop myself from passing on the advice which has best served me. Ta, darling!




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Thu Jan 13, 2005 2:36 am
rebecca says...



I love the title, cute, cheeky and then the poem takes you somewhere else but retains some of that attitude. The last stanza is kind of icky, I agree with the review that said ditch the rhyme.




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Mon Jan 10, 2005 2:57 am
Chevy wrote a review...



Keep telling yourself
I'm nobody
I'm nothing
I'm worthless.


This part was the most meaningful piece of the poem in my opinion. I guess because I can easily relate to the feeling. I loved this poem--especially this part. Good work.




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Sun Jan 09, 2005 4:12 am
Liz says...



I quite liked this one; it was simple and yet the emotion really shone through. Not overloaded with unnecessary stuff. Sometimes it's nice to just read a simple poem like this.




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Sat Jan 08, 2005 11:53 pm
-KayJuran- says...



i dont think you need to make
it rhyme there... try to concentrate
on the rhythm or sumthin...




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Sat Jan 08, 2005 1:29 pm
Firestarter says...



Thank you.

The ending is a little weaker than the rest of the poem, any suggestions?




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Sat Jan 08, 2005 2:36 am
nickelpickle wrote a review...



this poem was amazing....I loved your analogies and this line was my fav...

love is a bullet
which pierces your heart
and can never be removed.


It was really powerful and fit perfectly. I liked your opening and the only thing that, in my opinion, was less than great was the ending:)

Nikki




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Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:14 pm
-KayJuran- says...



love is a bullet
which pierces your heart
and can never be removed.


i think this is the best line...

When I look into
those fiery eyes
I know you
slowly realise


i like this as well... the rhyme &
the rhythm really goes well here.

:P

keep it up!

if i can think of any way to improve
anything then i'll tell you but im not
sure i'll be able to - this is a great
poem!

:P




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Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:42 am
Meshugenah wrote a review...



love is a bullet
which pierces your heart
and can never be removed.

love this line.

That phone call
Was when you were "bored".
That look
was a "mistake".
Whatever, darling.

i have friends that do this, continually...

One day you'll stop.

lovers wish.

overall, i like this. it ture about cliche, and you veered away from it.




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Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:21 pm
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-KayJuran- wrote a review...



that is so scary... whoever that was it
sounds a lot like me... oh well you dont
wanna know about that. :roll:

anyway i love the poem... never read
anything like that before - although i
have written something sorta from the
other perspective (in the lyric section)
only thing is i dont know if the situation
you're describing is the same or not...




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Wed Jan 05, 2005 6:27 pm
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Firestarter says...



Thanks. That was a quick reply. I think I have some other poems in Lyric and Others if you wanna see. And stuff in most of the story sections. I *wish* I was going through this now, I think it was me just fantasising about my ex- (again). *sigh*.




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Wed Jan 05, 2005 6:24 pm
Sam wrote a review...



Ooh la la...it was very good, and that puts into words what a lot of us feel, huh? :D Here's what I liked, since I don't have any crit:
*Great analogies. I really like the bullet one. You took an overused cliche and turned it into something really, really cool...hey, that's rare. :D
*It was just kind of free (I know this is lame but it's all I got) and obviously very heartfelt. Either you're a wonderful writer or you've been through this before...obviously both! *lol* I love it, if you've got any more I'd love to read it.





"Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT."
— Shia Labeouf