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140,727 Literary Works • 673,680 Reviews
yeh, Mesh, you just hit the nail directly on the head there.
I love this. absolutely love it.
not sure about floaty... doesn't feel right when read.
the transition between the 2nd and 3rd lines feels awkward.. not sure if you wanted that or not.
Good god Jack. Beautiful, as always. This feels to me like those summer days everyone hates. It's warm out, sun shining, people swimming (or something along those lines), friends talking and laughing, and you're sitting there with no one to talk to, and the one thing you thought you could count on (for whatever that may be, even just counting on something to be something its not), is not there, or is, but isn't (if that makes sense).
I loved it! It was much better than anything I could have done. Me and poems just don't mix. Anywayz I enjoyed reading it and can't wait to read more of you poems. Keep up the good work!
I loved the line "but you could always fake expensive things like love". I liked this one a lot. You have captured something here and it is brilliant.