a depressing poem i felt like writing for once.

Points for depressing, if that was your goal. I like the line "because I've never stood in the light". I think to be grammatical, you should say "I've never gotten" But even at that I don't think "got" is a very strong verb. I had a creative writing teacher forbid us to use it. You are lost. So maybe, "I've never been lost."
Anyway. I think there is a bit of in-continuity between the stanzas. I don't mind that they are all different lengths. It is just that in some stanzas, like the first and fifth and sixth, the audience is being addressed, or at least the mysterious unidentified "you". But the rest of the time it just seems, I don't know...more reflective, like there really is no one being addressed. Besides, who would this poor nihilistic bastard be talking to like this? Him/herself? The "you" is lost halfway through. If you are going to have a "you" carry it through, so we the audience feels included, reminded that we are being addressed. I don't know..just an idea.
I liked this poem. It was interesting. Some innovated images. "Engraved on the seabed" Nice. "Pavement is screaming from the dying dreams." Dark. Good.

I actually liked it to till the longer stanzas...they made me yawn. They were written nicely but I personally, didn't have an interest. Overall, by the talks of it, it appears that you thought this poem wasn't very clever. However, I thought it was. The shorter stanzas and not so many metamorphises going on here made it great.

I like it, but I think it's too long...so that, by the end, you get used to the style and it doesn't feel new or exciting anymore, but just predictable...I think you should cut two or three stanzas....and that wouldn't happen....and I do like it.

I like this it has inspired me some how but it reflects on when I was depressed.

Oh yes, I did achieve the depressing nature that I wanted.

This was pretty depressing.

if i step outside my doorway, i stumble
i fall, i crash, i burn, i break