last night's thunderstorm

by Firestarter

Published July 1, 2005

In Old awful stuff

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
PsyLynx
Review
PsyLynx wrote a review Review · Jul 3, 2005

I really liked it a lot. Some of it...seemed a little bit boring, in its simplicity, but...some of its simplicity was quite lovely. I adore the stanza

"the pavements are filled with couples who
hold hands and stand under street lamps
but you stand on your own
under a flickering light, which eventually dies
and you watch cars zoom past"

.Yeah. Quite well done. Some of the other parts of the poem seem like they could be fresher, though...bordering on the same cliche images and things...

Maybe that's just me, though. I read most of the poetry I've written last night, and that really messed my ability to critique poetry up....or to think...or to feel........OR TO LOVE.

User avatar
Meshugenah
Review
Meshugenah wrote a review Review · Jul 1, 2005

...

How do you do it? The last two stanzas especially had great imagery. And I agree with Morgan, this is beautifully worded.

even though you try and fire lust constantly
This is the only part that i found confusing, and I had to read it twice to understand what you meant.

User avatar
Chevy
Comment
Chevy commented Comment · Jul 1, 2005

I loved the title because we had a thunderstorm last night.

*Sighs* Once again, I didn't fully understand it. But it was worded beautifully and very easy to read.



Life is like a bag of potatoes, it starts out rough, but can turn into something beautiful (and yummy).
— Ley