nyrrek

i suppose i liked this so much 'cause i relate to the girl (not that that is a particularly good thing!).

but, yeah, i really did like it. i love the second verse.

i suppose this is cool too because it felt different from a lot of your poems in that it wasn't full of pretty metaphors and pretty words it was more just what it was and i think that the simplicity really worked.

i haven't critiqued anything in a long time...can ya tell?!

First stanza, last line.. I like the idea of what you're doing there, but the way you wrote it looks and feels awkward.

First line of second stanza I like, second line, the you and the end and the you in the beginning of the next line sounds repetitative. ew black mascara.. I get nasty image from that in conjuction with the last line of the stanza.. personal experiences, though, me thinks.

Third stanza I like the first two and a half lines.. last part of the third line and the last I just can't decide.. rather morbid image, too, if thought about.

Fourth stanza, again, first line I agree with, but can't decide if I like it... last line of the stanza "of hugs and kisses" sounds strange te me.

Fifth stanza. Again, I like it, but I can't quite figure out what bothers me about it... (might just be that it's late and I'll change this in the morning).

As to the title.. I agree with you.