Young Writers Society

When I was reading this, I was thinking, 'this isn't up to Jack's usual standard.' Then I looked at the date and it all made sense. ^_^

Kyte, you don't have to capitalise things in poetry. There's no rule. Anyway, this poem is almost three years old. I hate when stuff like this gets resurrected.

Don't forget capitalization. You should capitalize the first letter in each sentence. The Is, too.

I started out reading it and thought, Okay a love poem, but was then thrown so competly off I had to begin again. You might mean it to be like this, but I found it more irritating or confusing, not abrubt enouph, perhaps, or too abrupt.

this poem belongs in a book. i dont know why, but it just reminded me of one of those poems you read in the middle of a good book and you wonder, "hm, i wonder who wrote that."

however, the first two lines seemed kind of chopped up to me. i had to force myself to read them--they didn't seem as interesting as the rest of the poem.