Young Writers Society

hmmm....I guess I'm hard to impress today. The last line was sheer brilliance...the rest...well, I don't know, it confused me, but I still liked it to an extent.

I like it. Original as usual, and of course the last line was brilliant.

It wasn't actually a "bam" because the rest of the poem was not "bam." It has to be a recursive pattern, or a build-up, which made the ending much less effective than it could have and should have been.

Yeah, I have to agree with Brad.

The poem, for the most part, was fairly predictable, and yeah, I could follow it. OK. But then, BAM!, there's the last line...which was great (if you didn't take the hint).

It felt, to me, at least, that the person whom the poem was written about changed multiple times throughout the poem (i.e. poems begins with 'you' and ends with 'me'). And while it can be an artful technique, I don't particularly see the benefit it gives this poem; if anything, it only clutters it up and makes it harder than it should be.

I liked the last line.