lovesaint

Second stanza...just...no, okay? It looks like you were trying too hard to be "profound" or something, when the poem itself, the concept, is profound enough. Don't overemphasize, just write what you feel and how you see things; no reason to overcomplicate. Although, since I'm pretty sure you'll be published, maybe you should just stick with this, lest you wind up like me. That would be bad.

Anyway, I enjoyed this greatly. Except for the second stanza...

random? damn. Jack, you're brilliant. Bloody brilliant. The last three stanzas I love.

However, not sure about the first stanza.. last line of it, especially.

you are a lovesaint
but the clouds are the ones in power
they'll disperse before they see you dry
and cosy within my embrace

but only cold overcrowded sky-high apartments
without the space for everyday passions

i don't want to be one of those people
who die for those they'll never meet

I'm never even though about getting my poetry published, but thanks anyway. You probably don't really get it because it's more of a random collection of thoughts rather than one strong message.

Firestarter wrote:raise the red hot poker like some sort of respectful gesture
then lower it into my skull and leave crimson imprints

Firestarter wrote:i don't want to be one of those people
who die for those they'll never meet
and i don't want to be a lovesaint
because burning beds and freezing friends
ain't my kinda thing.