Peter,
You forced Tinkerbell down my throat.
The yellowed pill
tore my mind into a billion pieces;
Promising Neverland but not the fall.
The walls bled into a tye-dyed high of life,
we laughed at our reflections.
Laughed like lost boys without a care.
.
Pan, you took my hand,
lead me from bar to bar until
we saw that second star in the sky;
We followed it,
with Tinkerbell in the pit of my stomach.
We were aloft,
carried on ecstacy winds unto
the house where we crashed.
.
You took me to the bedroom.
We tumbled through the sheets
like a maze of lust which only your hand would guide me
carried by that yellow fairy dust.
In the dark of night you called me "Wendy".
Another girls name which was not my own.
You finsihed and wept
whilst I let water pour over my body in the shower.
I could hear your choked sobs through the walls Pan.
Still a boy in a man's body,
hung up on a little boy's dream of love.
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140,752 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
I literally don't know what I just read. This is so weird. Peter Pan has only a few stories. Either the boy of imagination or the boy who held kids hand on their way to Heaven when they died. But this is just sick. Peter Pan is a lovely story and this is just horrific. I am sorry but the beginning set it off the wrong mood. Now if you had a different topic of interest and not Peter Pan this would be a whole other story, you are very talented, but not the right topic choice.
what did I just read . . .
An extension of a common interpretation on the classic tale of Peter Pan haha
oh . . . ok
Not a fan I take it?
it's a neutral feeling XD The last line was really interesting . . .
Hello.
I don't like this poem. It's not written badly, I just disagree with the content. Being a Disney fan I suppose doesn't help, because when I think of the Peter Pan story I think of Disney and it tars my perception of what you've written here.
But attempting to cast that aside... I read in a previous response to a review that you were comparing this whole theme to drug taking. Well, that in essence, has nothing to do with Disney, so I don't understand why you chose to make this link. But you did.
As always, good use of punctuation, grammar and spelling etc... no complaints there. But...
'Peter,
You forced Tinkerbell down my throat. ' the whole tone of this work is very aggressive as if you are trying to prove something. And I can't work out what. We know you don't like Disney and apparently fairy tale sort of stories, but... this is visceral for the sake of it:
'I could hear your choked sobs through the walls Pan'
I would have preferred for you to prove your point about this in a different way.
Hey
this isn't a stab at Disney, I wasn't thinking of them 
I was just taking a different take on a tale. But yeah this one had nothing to do with Disney 
My mistake. A druggy version of JM Barrie's work then.
Haha it is a common interpretation of the piece as it is xD
I guess so.
A poem I read again and again. It is realistic, and yet, fantastical. It is like tinker bell is poetic language for drugs. Sorry if I'm wrong. I usually don't like poetry, but I liked this one. There is a lot here that means a lot to the reader. I can tell that you put a lot of work into it, I appreciate it when a writer really puts their heart into it. Writers like that get rear and rarer. Not that I don't find many. Keep it up, the world needs writers like you
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
Okay, as usual, I'll start off with I'm a huge fan of your stuff, because it's always really well done.
That being said, I wasn't a fan of this piece, although that's more of an opinion thing rather than a "something is wrong here, you need to fix it," thing.
Mechanically, you're fine, except for the seventh line in the last stanza, in which you misspelled "finished," by accident.
Like ongoeslife, I've never been a fan of, to use their words, "sexual stuff," and, while this isn't super raunchy or even a little raunchy, I found it a little difficult to swallow this new take on the legend of Peter Pan.
I think it's safe to say I have a light obsession with the legend of Peter Pan. I've read the original book, the prequels, every sequel and extension, seen the play and the musical, seen every movie and spin-off, even watched a few of the Tinkerbell movies with my little sister. I've done research on the story, the legend, JM Barrie and the real people upon whom he based his tales.
So I know something about Peter Pan.
But, unlike ongoeslife, for me, this didn't ruin it, because to say one poem could ruin my love of the story would be like saying a bow and arrow could put a dent in an iron clad battleship.
But that's beside the point.
You want to know what I like or dislike.
The only thing I dislike about it is the perspective on Peter Pan.
I like a lot of other things, like the flowing syntax, the simple yet elegant diction, the eerie imagery that reminded me vaguely of The Great Gatsby for some reason, the usage of Tinkerbell as a drug (I never liked her), and the Wendy twist. I like that a lot.
So to wrap up this rather pointless and rambling review, I'm going to give your poem seven stars out of ten. It was good, but I've seen you do better.
What have you done? D=
On a side note, I didn't understand the Tinkerbell thing... Who would eat a fairy? o_O
(This is not a review)
Haha tinkerbell I made into a drug
I take it you're not a fan 
Nah, not really. I'm generally not a fan of sexual stuff, so I usually ignore it. I WAS pretty disappointed when you messed with Pan in this way, though. In the same way that some people are putting out comics where Calvin is doing "grown up things" and Hobbs is left out being all sad.
(Am I rambling now?)
I guess it's like, "Can't kids be kids and kiddy things be kiddy things?" 'Cause so many people want to "grow up" now; I want some things to remain childish and innocent.
But isn't the point of Peter Pan thy very one has to grow up some time...beside the point haha shame you don't like it
I love taking things and changing them though
See RoyalHighness's review for a more eloquent expression of my thoughts on this poem. XD (Though the poem didn't ruin Peter Pan for me... >.>)
Hey! Hamsa here
I just want to say that I absolutely loved it! I think it was a really smart idea. You used loads of references and placed them really well. I think the end is my favorite, with the wendy bit and the last two lines are great. Oh and the metaphors were awesome. Great job