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140,591 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
This was a very good poem! Though short, it was very moving.
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I espically loved what you said at the end: I watched the night sky bleeding, as screams come through my door..."
I thought you worded that very well
I didn't really notice any mistakes, except you spelled families wrong-you spelled it as familys, but I am being really picky here lol.
And when you said, "The city is engulfed in flames, are we watched in star-struck awe..."
Did you mean this, AS we watched in star-struck awe..."?
It also would of been nice if you had added another small paragraph or two, but that's just me being picky lol
But besides that, I love this
This poem is intriguing. I loved the imagery, and the twist at the end. It's beautiful in the way that it shows something ugly, and then something pensive. It got my mind moving, and isn't that always the point? The language was interesting, the way certain things were phrased made the poem come to life.
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I'm sorry I don't have anything to really help with, but I hope this review was helpful anyways
Please keep writing!