Love is horrible,powerful and unstoppable.
It rips at your insides, it makes you bleed without touching you.
Makes you cry without you wanting to,
It makes you love without you wanting to.
You forget everything.
So after love is gone
when you see your face in the mirror
it is no longer one you recongnise.
It has changed because that is what love has told it to do,
you hate it.
You hate love,
then you hate that you hate love
because love gives you hope
and then you have nothing
It pulls you from friends and family.
Love is the new cancer,
and it hurts so bad.
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I feel like you rush this along but it could be very good if you worked on it. It ends kind of abruptly, you are talking about it pulling you away then mention it is cancer and then it ends. Also, in the beginning you use the words "without you wanting to" in two consecutive lines. To me, that interupted the rythym and was unneeded repetitivness. This is quite a good idea/theme for a poem and I think it could flourish into something great. Similies and metaphors could be used more effectivly to describe exactly how this person is feeling about love and cancer and how they are related. Hope I helped.
what i have to say is all is fair in love and war, and love hurts some times.
What are you published in?
O.K ...I'm going to be honest ..I'm not that great at reviewing..
Butt anywho ...
I absolutely LOVE (no pun intended) this piece . I found it to flow very well and it definitely is very
deep. While reading I found myself agreeing with the poem.. Love is the new cancer..
It scares many people .. but unlike cancer people want it.
Keep on the good work
-XOXO Imaginemymind
Don't be afraid to write, take in the critiques, learn. Most critiques are filled the critics opinion, but it still has value.
Okie dokie, I really don't know how to address this, it just seems like you have a good idea, but didn't flesh it out into a story. You're telling me what love does, but you aren't showing me. How is Love the new cancer? You aren't connecting everything, the reader is confused, I'm confused.
I'm quite new to poetry, only been writing it a couple of months, so I'm a bit confused on how to help you. You say you've read a lot of poetry, but have you seen a style you liked? Have you studied it, analysed it to its core? I personally like ee cummings and Emily Dickinson. I haven't really developed a style like that yet, but my first ever poem was an attempt at her Emily Dickinson's style, and it did not go well. I had an image, but that was it, nothing was built from it. I think that's what you need to work on.
I hope I helped.
Dude don't be scared, please, this isn't a review on you. It's the poem, if you worked on this it could actually be really good. But what this came across as mainly was rushed.
Trust me keep writing
It kinda has, thanks.
And i do read poetry alot. I am published in fact.
Sorry that sounded snappy.
I'm actually scared to write now, but thanks.
Hello I'm LastPaladin and I shall be your reviewer what we have here essentially is a cliched mess that follows the same tired generic formula and never tries to stand out. It says a lot of platitudes, but never truly explores them. Instead you try to tell a story. This comes across as boring as we heard it all before. Love is mystery, love is amazing, love is diease. It's practically word for word from a Hallmarks Greeting Card.
It comes across as a series of statements in no poetical form but begging to be seen as such. You could have gone many ways. You want to make us experience the emotion within, but you only explore one piece of imagery. And even that come across as forced.
The worse thing is, there no saving grace to this. It's all been there done that bought the t-shirt. It doesn't come across as emotional or full of vivid imagery, it instead comes across more as contrived mess.
My advice here is to read more poetry here and from famous writers you'll begin to see what works and truly how to capture the readers emotions.
Hope this helps.