Coming out.

Hello, @retrodisco666! I am @emeraldfox, representing the Night Furies this review day!

Damn. That was good. (Excuse my language. But you seem old enough to take it. And I don't normally say things like this so you know I am feeling very passionate about this poem.) Okay sorry...

I will start with how this poem felt personally. This poem hit me very hard. I am currently working on coming out as lesbian to some family and a few friends. I've had a good experience and a not so good experience. But so far, I have felt exactly how you described in the last stanza. We have to put everything on the line to come out and when someone takes it well, we are washed in relief. But when someone doesn't take it well, we want to retreat back into the closet, or "coffin" as you accurately described it. I could definitely relate to the way you described being in the closet. It is suffocating and it feels like I am some big, dirty secret, even though I am the same person I have always been. And I liked what you said about how we are all in our own seperate "coffins", making us very lonely. I have experienced that feeling of loneliness a lot lately. I am sure anyone in the LGBTQ+ community could relate to this immensely.

As far as your poem goes, I thought it was amazing. You had very vivid imagery, especially in the last stanza. Your poem had a very good meter and it flowed very smoothly. You transitioned between stanzas well, too.You had a good use of punctuation, which added lots of emphasis to the piece. The only spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. error I found was in the second-to-last line of the first stanza. You wrote, "a hush whisper". This should actually say "hushed" because "hush" is a verb or command, while "hushed" is an adjective in this case which describes the "whisper". But that would be a very simple fix.

This was such an amazing poem. It gave me chills. You are a very talented writer!
*likes*
*follows*
*goes to read and review some more of your work*

I enjoyed this poem. I really only have a few negative things to say about it, most of them are good. First, I like the imagery that you use in it, and I like how your poem relates to everyone really. I felt that I could relate to this poem even though I'm straight because I have this internal struggle with hiding who I am and trying to figure out who I am. So I understood the emotions perfectly.

Now for the bad. I didn't like the first and last stanzas, I felt they were extremely choppy and that distracted me from the point you were trying to make. I wished they were laid out more like the second stanza. The second stanza flowed beautifully. I also know that short and choppy can be a stylistic choice. So I was thinking maybe a good thing to do with this is to make the first and second stanzas choppy and the last one flowy? Kinda to symbolize how at first you feel trapped and restricted, and then you feel free. I think this poem is just fine the way it is, you really don't have to change it. It was just a suggestion for future poems.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this and I liked how you made it personal to yourself but also made it relate to the lives of others. You did a great job

XOXO,
Gravity

Hey there! It's MysteryMe, here for a quick review!!!!

I just want to say... wow. This is amazing. I can relate to this personally (on at least a small level) because my brother came out recently. Luckily for him, however, our parents, our family, and his friends were all very supportive of him, and everything turned out just fine. I sympathize deeply with those who don't have such a wonderful support system, and I can't even begin to imagine how much that must hurt to know that who you are inside is not accepted by society.

Anyway, this topic is certainly very deep and a bit controversial, but you definitely did it justice with your lovely writing, and I applaud you for that.

In terms of the actual writing, I really like the way you broke up each line, for some reason. It flowed nicely and really helped get the message across. I can definitely tell that you have a great talent for poetry, and I know you'll go far.

Anyway, there's not much else for me to say, so great job!!!! Keep writing!!!!!

Chills, this was beautiful.

I support gays and frankly I don't give a hoot about peoples private things such as sexuality and religion. I myself am still questioning about what my sexuality is.

Ok, let's get this review actually started. This was short and pretty. I enjoyed reading this, as this is probably how a lot of people feel when they are still in the closet or are coming out of it.

My only (and petty) grammar mistake is that 'breathe' as a verb is spelled wrong.

Thia was very well written and I hope to read more works of yours. Keep up the good work

I. Got. Chills. I love this.

Freaking brilliant. Your metaphors were good, but easy to follow to tell us what this poem is about. It's sweet and what some gays feels about not being themselves in front of people, kind of puts an image in my head. And I think my brother would love this; cause I know he gets picked on because of his sex-life.

"We are damaged and

bruised from marks

we wish we couldn't remember.

We shield our eyes from that

burning sun with hands

still bloody from breaking out." This is my favorite 'paragraph' (I think the word is.)

This was amazing and you are a vivid writer. Great job on this poem.

I really like this poem. Well, like isn't exactly the right word, since it's dealing with some stuff which is far from upbeat, at least until the end. But I thought it was a very well written poem.

In my opinion, the most powerful part was this bit:

This tomb traps us,

defines us as a dirty secret,

society's scum,

a rumour to be said in

a hush whisper because God

forbid someone is gay.